A letter to my son

For the book contest give-away, please see the February 15 post.

Reed  – I can hardly believe four years ago at this hour, I was still trying to figure out where you were.  No answers were coming, and my heart was frantic after seeing the story in another mother’s eyes.  Yet, I clung to the hope only found in Jesus that you were okay.  I simply didn’t (and still don’t) know any other way to operate.  And even though, Daddy and I (along with Sawyer, Erin, and Cloie) didn’t receive the news we wanted, God still provides!  He provides the blessings of friendships, memories, hugs, and sometimes more than anything else, rest. 

 

In these four years, we have tried our very best to remember and honor your most important legacy of loving God with all our hearts, souls, and minds.  And I think that you would look down and smile at the ripples in the pond that your death created not only in our lives but in the lives of family, friends, and strangers. 

 

Just to give you a quick update of those ripples:

 

  • Many have shared that because of the faith of one sweet little redhead that they got right with God and are DEFINITELY going to see you in heaven now.  (Even if we never know the full story this side of heaven, this news is incredibly comforting.)
  • Your dog and best friend continues to touch the lives of others when he goes to visit friends at nursing homes.  The love you poured into him through the countless hours spent together shows in the way he gingerly and tenderly gives back.
  • The best friend who you spent most hours with is an awesome guy who I know you would still be proud to call your friend.
  • The best friend who shared your faith is probably one of the most live out loud Christians I know and is also a tireless worker at Reed’s Run.
  • The best friend who shared your church has grown into the most amazing prayer warrior and quiet leader.
  • Many other friends continue to share the difference that you made simply by being you, and now they, too, are making their own ripples.
  • Your love of reading lives on in a reading program up north at a daycare we chose to adopt. 
  • Your love of Star Wars is known far and wide.  People still joke and laugh about your send off.

 

Things are not always rosy. But when we feel sad and blue, some sweet person will send us a tangible reminder of God’s love, or we will hear that beautiful cardinal sing.  It’s then that we know that God is present in the here and now, and He is big enough to withstand our doubts, worries, and grief. 

 

When I look at your siblings, I am often reminded of the tangled web of emotions that you shared with each of them.  Those unique relationships are the impetus of your legacy cheetah program.  I can tell you that Sawyer’s comedy routines have only gotten better with time, and that you would hate them (because he still gets big laughs around here).  Erin has moved a long way past her first days of learning to shoot hoops.  She no longer has a “Laura, Mary, Carrie wind-up” to just be able to get the ball through the hoop.  And yes, we still cheer just as loud as we did back in the driveway with the “Ingalls” girls.  And Cloie, oh Reed, you would not believe how much of you is a part of her.  Her passion for learning and her heart for loving others are identical to yours.  She even has your penchant for opening the wrong side of the parmesan cheese.  Oopsies! 

 

Reed time doesn’t heal all wounds.  Despite what some think, we have closed on houses and business deals, but we will never close on our children.  With that said however, each and every day that we miss you, we know that God knows exactly what it is like to lose a Son.  He knows our pain intimately.  This past year we have decided as we bring a close to Reed’s Run the theme will be “To rise from tragedy, cling to HOPE.”  Every day, we choose to do exactly that, knowing in heaven to you it will be a blink of eye when you see us again.

 

Always proud to be your momma! Now and forever, clinging that HOPE!

 

Give us this day our daily bread

For the book contest, please see the February 15, 2012 post.  Thank you!

When I was a young bride, Daniel & I attended the same lovely little church where we were married.  As Easter grew closer, I was approached by one of the sweet little blue hair Jesus ladies (as Dave Ramsey would call them).  She inquired if I would be interested in assisting with the blessing of breads service.  Having grown up in another denomination of faith, I had no idea what that entailed, but being passionate about serving the Lord, I agreed.  What came next was a copy of a recipe followed by precious and loving instructions on how to make unleavened bread.  The idea was that women of the church would make enough bread for each family in the church to take home a loaf to have for their Easter celebrations. 

The recipe wasn’t that challenging other than the fact that it made loaves and loaves . . . and loaves of bread.  At one point, I began to think that it was some type of miraculous fish and loaves recipe.  Every once in a while, we make this bread as a family, and it always brings me back to that rite of passage of being “grown up” enough to be asked to cook for my church family. 

Wow!  I have come a long way since then.  And many loaves of bread later, I am struck by how this one cooked food is chronicled through the ages. Bread is the one food that every culture on the globe seems to have in common.  Despite all of our differences which are numerous, there seems to be one commonality that binds us all together. 

Similarly, I recently made a comment about paint colors for my house that got some notice.  I am the large box of crayolas kind of girl while my husband might be okay with the 8 crayola primer.  Isn’t it amazing that we were all created uniquely but yet one coloring page, bread recipe, or planet is large enough for us all? I stand in awe!

The recipe below is not the Easter loaf (I will post that closer to the glorious holiday), but is the one that I have been tweaking for awhile.  For my facebook group  Kan-Do! A Cooking Community to Meal Plan, Share Recipes and Feed Our Kids, this is the recipe for bread in the crockpot.  If you are interested in joining that group and have facebook, just reply to this post and I will add you.

Finally my bread “experiment” is ready to share! 

(Caveat: For my gluten-free or gluten-sensitive, I do limit gluten in my own diet, but do not do so for my family.)

Healthy Whole Wheat Bread (Recipe credited to Esther Becker of Gordonville, PA in the Fix-it and Forget-it Cookbook)

2 cups warm reconstituted powdered milk (I LOVE powdered milk)

2 Tbsp. vegetable oil

1/4 cup honey or brown sugar (I used honey)

3/4 tsp. salt

1 pkg yeast

2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

1 1/4 cups white flour

1. Mix together milk, oil, honey or brown sugar, salt, yeast, and half the flour in electric mixer bowl.  Beat with mixer for 2 minutes.  Add remaining flour.  Mix well. 

 

 

2. Place dough in a well-greased bread or cake pan that will fit into your slow cooker.  This was my problem before.  My pan was too large and I had to lean it and the dough spilled out the side.  So I finally found a pan that fit.  This isn’t an advertisement for that store, but I had to go to Sioux Falls to find a bread pan to fit in my crockpot.

 

 

Cover with greased tin foil. Let stand for 5 minutes.  Place in the slow cooker.

 

 

 

3. Cover cooker and bake on High 2 1/2 to 3 hours.  Remove from pan and uncover. 

 

 

 

Let stand for 5 minutes. Serve warm.  (I served with honey butter.) For those that know me well, I never can follow a recipe exactly.  Hence, I added 1/2 cup of sunflower seeds to this recipe with the second half of the flours.  It made the perfect textural addition of just a bit of crunch. This smelled so good when we arrived home after church! Enjoy!!!

 

A really good read and contest

Last week, I wrote about my best friend and our phone call concerning crockpot liner bags.  Today, I am lingering over a memory of another one of those moments that we shared.  Long ago, we shared nursery duty at our church on Wednesday nights.  One of those nights, she came bearing gifts.  She had the opportunity to purchase some books through her workplace, and she bought this great cookbook.  After reading through it, she realized that it was one of the best cookbook/hints book she had ever come across.  So through love she decided that I couldn’t live without this book either.  And she was right, second only to the Bible, that book Dining on a Dime is most used book in my house. 

Over the Christmas holidays, I was bored one day.  (That was painful to even write, but it was an exceptionally quiet day at our house.)  I knew that there was an order form sheet in the front of the book; so, I wondered if the Dining on a Dime folks have a website.  I was not disappointed.  By looking at the website, I found that I had more in connection with the authors (Jill and Tawra) than I had differences. 

From the moment, I received the cookbook, I poured over its pages, and I found I was doing the same thing with the website.  (What a way to fill a “boring” afternoon!) I also found that strong connection I felt had to do with where our mutual hope was rooted rather than where our stomachs and grocery budgets lie.  That strong connection is what I feel with most of my closest friends.  It is the acknowledgment of the blessing of friendships. 

I have never met Jill or Tawra (but hope to do so someday), but today, I have the opportunity to review one of their books, Penny Pinching Mama: 500 Ways I lived on $500 a month.  The good news for my readers is that you have the opportunity (through my blog) to win the book.  After receiving the book, I wasn’t prepared for how much it would touch me. 

I will be honest.  I had a hard time putting it down.  Despite being a hints and ideas book, the advice is given with heartfelt honesty and hard-hitting integrity.  While telling of a painful life story, Jill goes on to share not what she did, but more what she had to do to survive and to keep her family afloat.  Yet while going through these tough years, she clung to her faith which is evidenced throughout the book in her anecdotes and story-telling.  Throughout the pages, she tells of the personal circumstance and the tips that helped her in those moments.  Trust me I took good notes on many of the tips.

Now I will be brutally honest.  After finishing the book, the first thing I did was pray and thank God.  It was a good book, but the gratitude came from the fact that I have never been forced in life to live on nothing financially.  I realize that I had to dig deep from the well of faith in the tragedy that befell our family, but I have never walked in Jill or Tawra’s shoes, and for that, I am truly thankful. 

I am guessing that Jill would deflect compliments of amazing and inspirational.  I am equally certain that she would agree with my newest favorite quote, “I am convinced that “strong Christians” just know where to run in times of trouble.” 

If you would like to learn more about Jill and Tawra’s books, check out their webpage www.livingonadime.com .  To win a copy of Penny Pinching Mama, you must post a reply to this blog and share a money saving tip (of any kind) in your response.  Replies without tips will not be considered for the prize.  I will give one week for entry replies and from those participating; I will draw one name to be the winner.  I will use a random name generator (aka a clean sock and slips of paper at our house) to “scientifically” choose the winner.

Looking forward to the responses and great ideas!  Today, be thankful for the blessings BIG or small, because I know I will be.

The Value of Friendships

Imagine a late summer day, my kitchen is steaming from the canning of tomatoes.  The phone rings, and the caller id says it is my best friend.  She is 430 miles away “delivering” her oldest to college in North Dakota.  I knew from hello she had something exciting to tell me.  “You know those crockpot liner bags that we’ve been dreaming of?  Well, I have finally found them. Woo hoo!”  Now let me tell you something about that moment.  It takes a real friend to know that you are going to get “jump and down excited” over that news.  And I did!

Yet, this friendship like most of my closest friends also has had to endure life’s challenges and hardships.  We have weathered the loss of grandparents, parents, and children; job changes, house relocations, illnesses in our children, and everyday hurts and disappointments. There are those people who will drop everything to come running when you need help.  And she has on more than one occasion.  

Incredibly, I AM SO BLESSED because I can make a list of  friends of that have loved me beyond measure.  Friends who appear in the line at your son’s memorial service and tell you that you are going to sit down and eat something – not because you want to but because you need to.  Friends who call you because God has laid you on their heart and they don’t know why.  Friends who offer to take your kids so that you can have some peace and quiet.  Friends who remind you that you cannot do everything, and they hold you accountable.  Friends who keep your traditions when you are so exhausted that you cannot. Friends who love you even if you are a maniacal sports mom, and they cheer with you.  Friends who call and tell you that you have incredible kids because they caught them in the act of doing something wonderful.  Friends who know that you will answer the phone in the middle of the night and who will cry with you.  Friends that  get your sense of humor and laugh with you in a lightning storm on a football field. Friends who share the coveted title of mother on her son’s wedding bulletin.  Friends who live far away but use technology to keep in touch and to encourage you. Friends who defend you when others don’t know what you are going through.  Friends who are praying for you, even though you didn’t ask. Friends who remember the little things and send a card, e-mail, or letter.  Friends who encourage you to be so much more than you think that you are, but yet who God designed you to be.  I have all these friends, and yes, I AM TRULY BLESSED!

It was a phone call recently that prompted me to pause and really think about friendships. Her words were like a soothing balm to me.  “I just had to call you because you would get it.” The short version is that through a previous conversation, she was thinking about something she wanted to share with me and some other friends,  but what she wanted to give us wasn’t readily available.   Then in a series of everyday events, the speaker she was thinking about was on her radio.  She just had to call to say that God was amazing, and that a little flip of a radio channel was the bolstering that she needed to go forward. 

 She was right! I did “get it”.  I shared a similar story of the friend where God laid me on her heart and her faithfulness to reach out.  God blessed her with a radio channel, and for me, it was recently a text message. With God, there are no concidences.  The same is true with friendships.  With God, there is no friendship too proud to get excited by crockpot liners, too humble to encourage a friend (even if you don’t know the circumstances), too busy to serve in love, too complacent to say thank you, or too blind to love beyond our shortcomings. 

God has used  spiritual spittle – manifested as the tears of my eyes – through life’s difficulties to wash away the dust cloud of doubt.  He has shown me that He has surrounded me with all sorts of friends to be the living, breathing reminder of the friendship that I share with His son, Jesus.  Through each of my friends, I have come closer to Jesus because each embodies a part of Him that I so desperately need. 

As an “older” Girl Scout, I keep hearing our old meeting song in my head . . . Make new friends, but keep the old.  One is silver and the other gold.  With all the friendships I have been given by God, I am truly swimming in heavenly gold.

What good can come from there?

I distinctly remember in the spring of 2004 having a conversation with my son, Reed.  We were listening to all the hype surrounding the NFL draft.  Most of the “talk” revolved around one young man, Eli Manning.  Reed was dismayed to hear all the analysts talk so poorly of a guy who was predicted to be (and later was) the #1 draft pick.  Most of the talk went something like this, “Well, he’s good, but he’s no Peyton.  He will be an NFL player, but he will never, mark my words, never win a Super Bowl.  He just doesn’t have that kind of talent.”

I remember how perplexed Reed was by all these not-so-nice comments.  Reed and I had a long talk about how controversy creates buzz, and buzz sometimes creates dollars in this world of instantaneous entertainment.  I also told him that I believed that the Manning family members are Christians that as Christians we don’t have to believe what our world is telling us.  We also said that we shouldn’t define greatness by the world’s standard.  Reed’s heart was cheering for one whom many perceived as the understudy, and he didn’t like that he was being beaten down when he hadn’t even started his NFL career.    

Unfortunately the talk surfaced again, when older brother Peyton and his team (Indianapolis Colts) won the Super Bowl in 2006.  “Blah, blah, blah, it’s too bad that little brother Eli (of the New York Giants) will never have a Super Bowl ring like his big brother.”  And on and on, it went.  That is until two years later, when the little brother and his team won the 2008 Super Bowl. 

I was so glad that Reed was still alive (as it was his last Super Bowl to watch on earth) to see that win. Despite all the dire glass-ceiling predictions about Eli, he had the kind of fortitude to just keep showing up and using the talents that God has given him. 

Last night’s victory led by the “lesser talented” Manning must have made one little red-head in Heaven laugh out loud.  Not only did Eli win a Super Bowl in 2008, but he and his teammates went for an encore performance four years later, winning in 2012. 

Recently, as I have been reading through the Bible, I came across a verse that made me sit up straighter and do a double take. 

John 1:43 – 46 (NCV)

43 The next day Jesus decided to go to Galilee. He found Philip and said to him, “Follow me.” 44 Philip was from the town of Bethsaida, where Andrew and Peter lived. 45 Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the man that Moses wrote about in the law, and the prophets also wrote about him. He is Jesus, the son of Joseph, from Nazareth.” 46 But Nathanael said to Philip, “Can anything good come from Nazareth?”

Oh no – he didn’t! But, yes, he did!  Can anything good come from Nazareth?  You have to be kidding . . . but he wasn’t.  This Jesus couldn’t be as good as Moses, Elijah, Isaiah, and all the other prophets. Nathanael then finds out that Jesus is the real deal, but his initial thoughts were simply on this rival town and nothing good comes out of that.  After learning the truth by meeting Jesus, Nathanael becomes one of the disciples and follows him. 

There are other countless examples throughout the New Testament of Jesus standing living and breathing right in front of people, yet they would not believe that he is the Messiah.  At times even his own family doubted him.  The Pharisees, the Sadducees, the high priests, the government officials, and just average people – all doubted him. 

He continued to walk humbly and serving God his father, and people doubted and diminished his works.  People denied his abilities, and denied the prophetic claims that he was the one true Son of Man.

I, in no way, wish to imply that Eli Manning be equated with godliness, but I do want to parallel how we all have the tendency to miss the boat. This Jesus cannot be who he claims to be because it just doesn’t fit our (historically and now) idea of greatness. 

The Savior of the World, this Messiah, should be powerful, debonair, suave, magnanimous, and larger-than-life goes our thinking. He would deserve a 60 second Super Bowl ad.  A loving, caring, and humble servant does not seem to fit the picture of the “idols” we have today.  But oh, we would be so wrong. 

The hands that cradle us in our weakness were strong enough to take the nails for the sins of the world.  The heart that loves us despite our flaws (and right we are in life) was large enough to take on a burden that no other ever would be willing to take.  No, nothing good ever came out of Nazareth, but something absolutely, positively SUPER did! 

UFO #3 – Learning to be quiet

I am finding, despite what I believed when I was younger, that I enjoy solitude.  I really enjoy my quiet time. I find that when I use that alone time, I am able to think and create.  Now that the snow has started to fly in Minnesota, I find fewer and fewer errands that I wish to do.  So as you will see, I have decided to just spend my home days crafting. 

No, I did not get a free genie who does all the housecleaning, laundry, animal care, meal planning,  . . . I think you get the idea.  What I did get was a change of attitude.  I am giving myself reason (excuse, permission, etc) to slow down.  There are days that I feel like I do nothing but run from one activity to another.  Making this commitment to completing UFO’s is becoming two-fold.  It is a reason to save money (by not buying entertainment – craft supplis) and to force me to slow down. 

I must come by it naturally, because my Mama Cloie always says, she “needs something to keep her hands busy to keep her mind energized.”  But instead of keeping my mind busy, I am able to slow my racing thoughts.  Instead of always trying to keep up, I am just present – in that moment. 

It seems to me there is too much noise and distraction in our world.  If I am right in that assumption, then how will I ever “hear” God.  As a gardener, it is easy to hear God in the spring and summer.  He is in the cricket’s chirp and the whisper in the wind as well as in the plink of the raindrops. With all the technological gadgets that I have in my household combined with my self-confined “hermit tendencies”, it is easy to forget God’s command to “Be still and KNOW.” 

These last few days, I have been able to use my hands to keep my mind “still”.  If someone pops into my mind, I pause and pray for them. God seems to pop a lot of “someones” pop into my mind. I find that I spend less time worrying, and it is so much easier to hand those worries over.  I truly am at a peace.  I also think that God knows my strong desire to not be running all the time, and so, He has used this resurgence of crafting to quiet me. 

Even though to the human eye it might appear that it is just me (and Huck) quietly crafting, I know that there is He is there.  And just like any proud papa, He is proud that I am choosing to spend time with Him.

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

 

 

UFO #3 is once again made with scraps from Erin’s quilt.  I am almost completely out of those.  It is a rag quilt (sewn with seams exposed).  It becomes more ragged with each washing.  While it wasn’t exactly 64 like squares in the quilt, there were a whole lot of “someone’s” prayed over during the making of this quilt. 

 

 

UFO # 2 – Coat of Many Colors

My Mama Cloie and my Nanny Katie (my grandmothers) have each made my children beautiful, wonderful quilts and afghans.  These are beautiful creations that my children will take into their future homes to share with their children.  All are treasured and all are equally special.  Today, one is standing out in my memories, and I guess my UFO projects are truly turning into trips down memory lane. 

About twelve or thirteen years ago, my Mama was fed up with all those little bits of skeins of yarn left over after making larger projects (which are afghans in her case).  So she decided to just sit down one day and crochet all of them together into an afghan.  It was more experimental than purposeful, and as she would tell you, “it kept my hands busy.”  When one skein ran out, she just started another one.  At first, I am sure she thought it was more interesting than beautiful, but as it unfolded an memorable thing occured. 

My Papa Reed, who was deep in the recesses of Alzheimer’s disease at this point, looked at her one day and said, “That’s beautiful, and he’s going to love it.”  Her immediate thought was, “He who?”.  This afghan was an experiment, not intended to be given to anyone.  When she pressed further, Papa replied definitively, “Well, little Reed, of course.” 

Suddenly the experiment became a beloved object of love with a destination and a purpose.  Through phone calls the story was told to me, and through the postal service the afghan arrived.  “Little” Reed couldn’t have been more proud, and he immediately wanted to put on his bunk.  That night when I tucked him, at his ripe little age of 4, he showed me how wise four years old can really be.  “I’m the luckiest boy in the world, Momma.”  I agreed that he had lots of amazing things in his life, but he realized I wasn’t understanding his meaning.  “No, Momma, I am the only boy in the world who has a blanket of many colors just like Joseph’s coat.”  Wow!

Now, I don’t think that was ever my Mama’s plan, but it certainly gave all of us a new idea of what was capable. Scraps of leftovers lovingly crafted into a priceless treasure.  Isn’t that just the way God is using each one of us?  He takes all the junk out of our closets, and somehow patiently and tenderly crafts it into something not just useful but absolutely priceless in his Kingdom.  I for one stand awed by His Handiwork.

 

 

 

UFO update: 

Following in my Mama’s footsteps, yesterday’s UFO was made from scraps of Erin’s quilt, leftover minky fabric from a baby quilt I had made, and all sorts of odd ribbon pieces from my scraps.  I had always wanted to make a taggies blanket.  So with a little creativity and a touch of Alabamian ingenuity, this is what resulted.  Hopefully, the baby that receives this someday, will know God’s love for even the tiny bits.  For reference, I used http://www.icanteachmychild.com/2010/11/make-it-taggie-blanket-for-baby/ as a tutorial. 

 

 

UFO’s – January

My whole life I have marvelled at space and all it has to offer.  One of my favorite television shows as a kid was Lost in Space. The thoughts of space travel had me mesmerized. But the kind of UFO that I will be writing about today is not the kind that will have me travelling into space.  Rather it is one that will help me clean up my space. 

I hate to come out here and confess what I am going to confess.  But I figure the best way to stop doing this to myself is to put it out there and hold myself accountable (through all of you).  I am a crafts-nut.  I have enough projects to keep me busy until the day I die.  Fortunately, I love creating things, and my creative interests appear to have no boundaries.  I have beading projects, quilts, cross-stitch, knitting, stamping, scrapbooking and a sundry of supplies.  The problem is that I have started projects and not finished them. Additionally, I will buy supplies when I read about a great project or I come across a great deal.  I have a closet full of fabric waiting to be sewn, skeins of yarn waiting to be knitted into scarves and mittens, and scrapbooks that lay with blank pages. Right here is where Robot would say, “Danger! Will Robinson! Danger!”  (Hence, UFO  in this case means UnFinished Object.)

At the heart  of this confession is the fact that I am not being a good steward of the money God gave me nor have I been realistic about the time that I have to do such projects.  I have been pulled away by doctoring, general busy-ness, kids activities, volunteering, and work commitments.  I am planning to change my ways (and save money) by finishing the projects I have started and by abstaining from purchasing new materials and supplies (if not needed to finish a current project).

So my first UFO is to finish a baby quilt (that is simply meant to be a gift to some future baby girl).  This quilt has a little history in that it is made of scraps from Erin’s bedroom quilt, and some lovely little girls at Faith’s Lodge (www.faithslodge.org) helped me piece it.  We all sat on the wonderful 3 season porch at the Lodge and we worked.  While we did it, we shared about sons and brothers that left us much too soon and about how much we missed them.  Even though it was only a handful of us at a time, looking back, we shared in what women throughout time have done.  We used our hands to create something beautiful, while we laughed and cried and used that time to soothe our souls.  Hopefully the love shared in that room will be passed on to the recipient of that blanket some day. 

Thinking about it like that, there is probably a history and a memory associated with each UFO I have to complete. Maybe that’s what I have been searching for with each purpose, the joy of making memories.  Right now, I am going to choose to travel this year down memory lane rather than seeking new and more thrilling adventures in the world of crafting.  I want to finish the quilts my Mama Cloie started.  I want to knit the yarn that was given to me by my best friend’s (and my adopted) mom.  I want to scrapbook those pictures (even if it is difficult memories of pictures with Reed). I am guessing that God will bless each project because I am choosing to recognize that my spending hasn’t been wise in the past, and that I am definitely a work in progress myself. 

If you see me longingly eyeing the supplies at the crafts stores, remind me of how I am God’s handicraft in progress.  That will certainly do the trick. 

In the meantime, if you are a crafter, happy crafting during these winter days when we want to stay home and stay in.  (And yes, I will post pictures along the way.)

Just think, Batman!

I have had opportunity over the last four years to spend a lot of time with my kids in vehicles, particularly on our way back and forth to doctoring visits.  A week ago, I had such an opportunity.   Spending eight hours in a vehicle with a teenage boy can result in some pretty amazing conversations. 

The most recent trip had us conversing for hours on end the merits of various super-powers we would like should God decide to give us that opportunity someday.  We giggled as we spoke about what Sawyer thought my super powers would be.  He felt that since I had a proclivity to rescuing animals, particularly cats and kittens, that my super powers would have something to do with that.  I finally had to convince him that if I was stuck with cat rescue for my super power, couldn’t I, at the very least, get some super cheetah speed? 

A few more miles down the road, and he had the perfect road-worthy discussion question.  “Of all the Batman actors, which one was your favorite, Mom?”  The response was swift, “Hands-down, Adam West. What is not to love about the Pow! Kablam! era of Batman?”
My son agreed that was his favorite Batman, but his reasoning took me by surprise.  “Seriously, Mom.  With his small potbelly and love handles, Adam West’s Batman, makes me believe that I could actually be a superhero?”

A few more miles down the road, my own teen boy wonder was sound asleep after 4 hours of doctor appointments.  His words, however, were resonating in my head as I drove on.  How true were his remarks!  Over the next hours, I really thought about how our perceptions filter into our reality.  If we believe that we can do something, we typically can. But how many times do we doubt our own abilities?

The Bible is full of doubters.  Moses, Sarah, David’s brothers, Zechariah . . . but every time God showed his super POWER to equip by fulfilling His promises to them or their families.  Moses, who had a speech impediment, was called of God to lead the Israelites.  Sarah, who was of extreme age, was called to be the mother of a nation.  David’s brothers thought it laughable that a tiny pipsqueak of a boy was getting too large for his britches to think he coul take on Goliath.  Zechariah doubted that his childless, older-than-average wife would have a baby, yet she became the mother of John the Baptist.  There are countless others recorded in the Bible, but there are also so many, even today, not recorded who doubt what God is calling them to do.

I have been among those.  I was perfectly content to be a wife, mom, and teacher. When God “called”, I wasn’t sure I could be the person to write and speak about Him and share His story with others.  I’m not trained in either of those areas, and English (or Language Arts) was my worst subject in school.  Additionally, I just like to be at home. To magnify my weaknesses, I am a homebody who isn’t good with words all the time and who also has love handles herself.  But just like each of those characters, at some point, I came to understand that if God is wanted me to do this, why wouldn’t He give the abilities to do it? (Okay, I would have to work on the love handles on own.)

I took a leap of faith, and God has provided the writing and speaking materials.  Moreover, He has given me and my children real-life examples of people doing amazing things that no one believed possible.  Friends who have overcome great disappointments, tragedies, life circumstances, and doubts to go on to do incredible things. Role models that have shared with me that they too doubted they could pull off their feats, but with God’s help the sky was truly the limit.  So while, I may never master the fine art of using the grappling hook like Adam West and Burt Ward, I CAN always lean on the one, true super HERO to find the strength to do all things that are possible through him. 

Instead of waiting for whom we believe to be the right person, maybe we could all step back and realize that the right person blessed with God’s power might be the one staring back at us (wrinkles and gray roots included) in the mirror.   Now if all did that, no power could ever stop us!

Saying good-bye to a sweet, little friend.

He came to our family in an ususual way.  We had another feline friend for a few months, and that relationship didn’t fluorish.  She needed to be wild and free (and not biting all the guests that came to our house).  It was a difficult decision, but our vet convinced us that Daisy Duke wasn’t the kitty for our family.  Months went by and we didn’t desire to replace her.  That lack of interest was probably due to the fact that our original kitties had to get a new home following the bus crash.  It was all too much for all of us, and after much discussion, we had to find Shadow and Rescue new homes.  It was the best decision for them, even if it meant we felt like we were losing more family members. 

Months have gone by and not one mention on a new kitty.  That was until a chance encounter with our veterinarian.  She was wondering if we would ever be interested in a little special needs kitty.  The question caught me off-guard, because like I said, we weren’t looking.  My curiousity piqued, I inquired as to what type of special need.  We have experience fostering kitties (especially those abandoned by their mothers), and we have raised a few with bottles.  That wasn’t the new kitty’s issue.  He had experienced some kind of trauma (probably hit by a car), was dropped off at a farm, was promptly dumped at the veterinarian who tried to save his leg.  Ultimately, the leg couldn’t be saved, and here he was a little 3-legged ball of sweetness – who nobody wanted. 

Of course, my sense of cheering for the underdog (okay, undercat in this case) took over.  I agreed to take a look – on one condition.  This kitty would have to get along with Huck – numero uno, top dog and pet at Team Stevens Headquarters.  I shared his story with the kids, and  just like little apples fallen off the tree, their sense of truth and justice (and the American way) kicked in,  and they were ready to save this unseen kitty. 

We decided that I would pick up the kitty the next day for a trial overnight.  We all waited with fingers crossed hoping the moment Huck laid eyes on him would be like cherubim with harps came to serenade us all.  It was almost that perfect.  We all watched as I placed a tiny little 2.4 lbs kitty in front of a 97 lb golden retriever.  Instead of hissing with an arched back, that little ball of fluff nuzzled that big, old, wet nose and a friendship was born, not to mention the melting of all the human hearts in the room. 

That night we decided to name kitty, Ocho, because we figured he had already lost one life in the trauma that took his leg.  We promptly called the vet to say that we would emphatically NOT be bringing him back as he had already wrapped his little tail around our hearts.  Over the course of the next months, we discovered that he loved to cuddle, he was tolerant with kids, and he loved to wrestle with Huck which made the old boy seem so much younger than his 9 years.

 He was carted between our house and the neighbor’s for many playdates.  Ocho was loved by friends, family, and neighbors. He was dressed up in baby doll clothes and placed in baby doll cradles.  He was a willing participant in many different games and activities.  Sure he was a normal cat, and he loved to torment our preteen daughter’s toes in the middle of the night.  He loved a good snooze on any of the beds with a good sunshine fix in the afternoon.  Learning from the master, Huckleberry, he adapted those naps on occasion to the clean, fresh laundry piles I was folding. And of course, he intently watched the pigeons that we raise, but he never bothered them.  Nighttime prowls in our backyard were a staple, but he always returned home with a purr and a cuddle.

But then shortly after New Year’s we discovered our little Ocho (at 1 1/2 years old) was very sick.  We still don’t know yet what happened, but he developed some type of fluid in his chest cavity.  We watched, tried everything we could afford to do, and fretted for several days.  Deep down, we knew he wasn’t doing well. When Huck went and retrieved his beloved bone and laid it in front of his ailing friend, we simply knew it was time.  We had one last sleepover with Ocho, and I watched him throughout the night.  He was in so much pain that he never really rested.  We doted, we loved, and we doctored. 

Then we had to say good-bye.  He laid in my arms as I sobbed and told him that he was the best cat any family could have ever asked for.  He gave me one last nuzzle and breathed his last breath.  The guilt of letting him down was enormous.  Then the love of many friends reminded us that Ocho was a kitty that no one had wanted in the beginning, and that we had raised him lovingly, never letting him know that he was different from other cats. 

In the end, he taught us a lot about ourselves.  We will always, always, ALWAYS, root for the undercat!  We will also remember that BIG LOVE can come in little packages.   We learned that friends love us when we’re down and are there for us no matter what, knowing full well FRIENDS like that are hard to find! 

Now that we’ve said our goodbyes, we just hope we will be able to find him in heaven because we are certain he now has 4 legs!