Tag Archives: Love

The grand finale . . . the last Reed’s Run

Drawing Copyrighted property of Reed's Run

Drawing Copyrighted property of Reed’s Run

Well this is it.  I feel like I am sending my baby off to kindergarten.  I have loved, nurtured, worried, fretted, and spent many hours praying for Reed’s Run, and now, it’s time to send it off.  I carry in my heart precious memories of a job well done, funds raised, and hope given.  To say farewell, I am just going to give a list (not all-inclusive) of some of those favorite memories.

  • Friends and family working together to remember and honor
  • Honoring veterans each and every year (including remembering Jason Timmerman)
  • The friends from the Patriot Guard coming (even if unofficial)
  • Being able to publicly thank all of the first responders.
  • That flag over the start/finish line – took my breath away!
  • Friends arriving that were a surprise to me
  • Family flying/driving in from all over the country
  • Hosting a Grampa’s Amp concert
  • Students taking a stand (I will never forget what they did.)
  • All the hugs!
  • The Reed stories that came out.
  • Remembering all the children gone much too soon. The luminaries were always my favorite, especially during the movies.
  • Remembering three adult friends who offered healing to us and now are gone before we ready.
  • Honoring those who have inspired us.
  • The Star Wars theme song!
  • Seeing the t-shirts everywhere!
  • The generosity of our neighbors!
  • The joy of the runners, walkers, and kid runners!
  • Cheetahs and all the love!
  • Popcorn stands, Boy Scouts & Girl Scouts!

Finally, the most important memory is the message that we worked so hard to send.  Healing comes from a firm foundation rooted in the love and sacrifice of Jesus Christ and from the all the many hands & feet (and HEARTS) of a loving community reaching out in love.

To rise from tragedy . . . cling to HOPE!

Thank you for being the hearts that offered hope and healing!

 

The thing about grief . . . Part 5

from contentrules.com

from contentrules.com

The amazing thing about grief is the realization that not all of what you valued is really that important. It strips away all pretenses to the core of who you really are, and it helps you to eventually see more clearly who really loves you.

Simply put: grief changes you.

Before Reed’s death, I had lost my way valuing busyness, promotion, achievement, and even material possessions.  My faith was still there, but too much value had been placed in things that were temporal and not hope-filled.  All of those non-important things did not make me a better person nor did they bring me comfort when I needed it. I didn’t care about any of it, and I would have traded it all to change a moment in time.
If grief changes you (which it does); so,  too do your relationships change. Sadly, we have lost friends since Reed’s death. This isn’t a judgment. The loss was just more than the friendship could withstand. This is one of those by-products of loss about which no one really talks.  In some ways, I think they did us a favor. Just as we read in Ecclesiastes, maybe they were just to be our friends for a season.
But the friends we’ve gained . . . oh, the relationships that have sweetened. All along our journey I could feel the prayers said for our family. Those prayers carried us when we didn’t have one ounce of energy left. The outpouring of love was overwhelming. Our friends and family are our greatest assets, this side of heaven. I would give anything to have Reed back, but I wouldn’t give up one single relationship to do so.
There were also the acts of kindness and the gestures that were tokens of love and remembrances of Reed. Our favorites being the time that someone shared a small piece of Reed’s life through a story that we didn’t know. Even though they made us cry (happy tears), they brought us such joy. Each time was a remembrance that it was people and relationships that we value more than anything else.
Every thought, card, gift, hug, or act is something that I will never forget, because the giver is giving more than they might even know. What message they are really sending is “I haven’t forgotten him”. They squash the greatest fear held by bereaved parents – that no one will remember their child. Their stay on earth is so short that long lasting legacies seem impossible.
For those changed by grief and for those supporting the grievers, we know that really isn’t true. Because the nature of the change resulted from that loss, and thus, a legacy was born.
So here I sit, reminded of one of the greatest acts of love given to me recently. It will come as no surprise to learn I am dreading graduation. Reed had such big dreams – proclaiming that he was going to Yale in the 6th grade. I am proud of his friends/cousins and excited for them, but as a teacher who loves learning about as much as Reed did, this leaves an enormous hole in my heart.
The gift came out of nowhere, which really is the best kind of surprise. I wasn’t expecting it at all, but there wrapped in the love of my nephew came the first gift of hope for commencement day. I don’t want to speak to his reason for asking, because I really don’t know why. The request was “Auntie, can you bring your camera so I can take a graduation picture with Reed?” The request came at my other nephew’s wedding and caught me completely off-guard. I just sat with tears streaming down my face.
We did a little planning, and after a while, we agreed on what we wanted. Now, trust me, he has much better senior pictures, but in my heart the gift he gave to me that day will be the one that I remember forever. Once again, my heart was changed because now I have one tiny little hopeful slice for graduation – the love of sweet young man (whose heart knew exactly what I needed). For bringing me joy to fill in the sadness, I love you for being a reminder of what really matters. LOVE!

Kevin & Reed 2

A great love story . . . chapter 1

Over the weekend, my family and I had the honor to attend and participate in our oldest nephew’s wedding.  We had a fabulous weekend and experience.  Despite earlier forecasts of cold rain, gray skies and wind, it was a beautiful, North Dakota fall day with sunshine and a temperature warmer than predicted.  The weather however wasn’t what made the day so special.  More so, it was the love that was shared among our family.

If I were completely honest I would say that the bride and groom, Jeanette and Derek were somewhat disappointed with several things that happened that day.  None of which were within their control.  Knowing their feelings was what prompted me to write this blog.  I have many more years of life under my feet and a few more miles on my marriage which will be celebrating 20 years in May.  I promise if I were J & D, I would have been let down as well, but through my eyes a great love story is just starting to be written.

No matter which way I looked all I saw was love.  Love for Derek and Jeanette and for those that love them.  Instead of writing that chapter (which really isn’t mine to write), I am choosing to share snippets of what I experienced that day.

  • A buzz of excitement at several houses as details were tended to get people ready.  For Cloie alone, it took one and half hours to do her hair.  At 7, that is a long time to sit . . . for love.
  • After a wardrobe malfunction (think white tux on a 4 year old ring bearer), the best man runs to the only store in town to find a Clorox pen.  All that fuss. . . for love.
  • The bride asking how the groom was doing only to be told, “He’s nervous.”  A spirit of panic filled the room, until it was explained that he was nervous not about marrying the girl of his dreams, but because he wanted the day to perfect for that same girl.  A real human emotion . . . for love.
  • Even though the aisle was too small for my request and I did get some raised eyebrows, I was escorted by both my son and my godson down the aisle to my pew seat. Despite the fact that we didn’t fit real well, my boys obliged out . . . of love.
  • Insistence on the couple’s part to not see each other before the ceremony was firm as family and friends executed spy-like missions to transport one or the other throughout the church.  None involved have espionage experience, but all willingly participated . . .for love.
  • When the big moment finally came, nary a dry eye could be found watching as both the bride and groom cried during her processional into the church.  I have been to many weddings in my lifetime, and I can only recall one other time that occurred.  Overcome . . . by love.
  • Family pictures following the ceremony went very smoothly. (As a former photographer’s assistant for weddings, that is a rare.)  No protests of “being as photogenic as a dishrag” were uttered and no hunting for family needed for pictures occurred.  Willing participants . . . for love.
  • There were moments of missing family and a friend who passed away the same day.  But other family stepped in and loved on those feeling that grief – not to take away the hurt, but to recognize the raw, conflicting emotions.  Their presence and encouragement only based . . . in love.
  • At the reception, things were a little hectic.  Aunties, uncles, and parents choreographed an amazing dance of filling bowls and bellies with food and refreshment.   Not done because of obligation or duty, but . . . for love.
  •  When cake cutting time happened, aunties and cousins sprang into action to cut and deliver that ornate confectionary delicacy to the guests.  Teenagers and younger serving just because help was needed showed nothing but . . . love.
  • Dancing time was a family affair with an opportunity that melted my heart, I had the honor of dancing with the groom’s brother.  (I will admit I was second choice because Erin had been swept away by the ring-bearer.)  But having an opportunity to privately visit with my nephew while twirling around the dance floor filled my heart . . . with love.
  • The bouquet toss was quite an experience (as was the garter toss).  But seeing the tiniest girl out there literally perform a dive that would rival a spectacular end zone touchdown reception was a sight to behold.  Yes, Cloie caught the bouquet which sits on her dresser now.  Even though we agree Prince Charming can wait many (MANY) years to show up here, Cloie’s motivation was to take home more than memories of a day filled . . . with love.

Anyone who has ever planned or participated in a wedding knows that something ALWAYS goes awry.  There is always a hitch in getting hitched.  Hopefully, it becomes something that you can look back and laugh about like the cake at our wedding (that almost caused me to cancel the wedding) or the bridal party that was stuck in the gondola for over an hour coming up to a mountaintop wedding.  My hopes are that instead of dwelling on the things that went wrong, my nephew and his bride can look through my eyes and see their wedding day was filled with more than just the love the two of them shared.

They were joined in marriage before God and blessed by family.  In my opinion, that is the greatest beginning to a love story.

A letter to my little girl

Dear Savannah Kate:

Hey Katydid!  It has been a while since I had a chance to write specifically to you.  Just because I don’t write or talk about you, Timothy, and Noah as much as Reed, Sawyer, Erin or Cloie doesn’t mean that I love you any less.  In fact, there are some days that I just plain miss the things that I never got to experience with the babies I carried, but did not hold.

I wanted to write to you because this past weekend I missed you so much that my heart literally ached.  Your oldest cousin, Derek, got married to the love of his life, Jeannette.  When it was time for family pictures, one was taken with the cousins, I had to step away.  Daddy saw me sobbing, and he didn’t have to ask.  He just knew that it was because in my imagination I could picture all seven of my children posing (okay, most likely hamming it up) in that picture.

Katydid, your twin sister was the flower girl.  She looked adorable in her dress, but it was her bouncing curls that had me mesmerized.  I often wonder how similar the two of you would be.  Does your hair curl just like hers? Or do you have red curls like your namesake while Cloie has dark curls like hers? Do you love superheroes and fighting evil villains just like she does?  Would you giggle the same or be as mischievous?  Do you sing as beautifully?  (On that last one, I use my dreams to believe you sparkle and shine in the heavenly chorus.) 

At the wedding reception and dance, the broken places in my heart received some patching as all of us in Daddy’s family pitched in to work, but more importantly to love together.  Simply put, we had fun. Once the dance started, I had to stifle my giggles watching those bouncy curls as Cloie spun, twirled, and shimmied. The best was the ballroom dancing that she and Kimberly performed complete with big finishes at the end of the song.  All the while those curls bounced, I kept thinking what the two of you would be like together.

I don’t really care what other people say because I genuinely miss you.  Tonight is the night that we get to remember you and the boys.  Last year, I asked the other kids if they enjoy going to the October 15th candlelight remembrance or if it was a chore to them.  Their response made me cry.  Not only because it was sweet and humble, but more so that they “got it”.  Their unified response was summed up by Sawyer.  “Mom, we all have birthdays and other special holidays just for us kids.  This is the one day a year that we have special for Noah, Tim, and Savannah; so, no it isn’t a chore, but more so an honor to remember our siblings this day each year.”

So tonight, Katydid, for the annual October 15th National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Candlelight Remembrance we will be lighting candles in memory of you three babies.  Even though we never met you, you and the boys made a difference in this world . . . even if that difference was to change our hearts so that we could help others.

I love you always, sweet girl, and someday in Heaven, I can’t wait to hold you.

Love, Momma

Note: For more information on today, please visit www.october15th.com

My family and I will be remembering at a special service hosted annually at our church.  Please contact me, if you would like more information.

15 days to go: the beat goes on

Many different times I have said that I would give anything to have Reed back, but I wouldn’t give away any of the friendships that have been forged or solidified since his death.  Those type of friendships exist for my children as well.  Some of these friendships have their roots grounded in a commonality of loss.  Sometimes the bonds come from both having connections with Reed, and other times it comes from the shared pain of losing someone close to them.

My kids have bonds with their peers from Faith’s Lodge that will last lifetimes.  And the same goes for a friend of Erin’s.  They were friends before the loss of his grandmother (a dear friend of our family), but they became closer friends after that.  We all knew each other fairly well, but they spent quite a few times just hanging out after her passing.  I believe pain knows pain, and suffering knows suffering.  But healing and refuge also know how to find safe sanctuary.  A safe place to grieve is always a welcome respite.

A by-product of the times they hung out was the discovery that this same friend, Ethon, owns and operates a business with his dad.  During one of o ur visits, he thought it would be a good idea to “pep” things up a bit at Reed’s Run, and he was the man to do it. He was right. As with many of the great ideas at Reed’s Run, we are glad we listened to the kids’ input.   With E&B’s DJ productions, the atmosphere at last year’s Reed’s Run was better than it had ever been.  Again, a friend sees a need and steps up, which is exactly what he did.

Ethon kept the “beat” pumping and by doing so, he kept all of us at the fairgrounds upbeat.  I think it is pretty amazing that through loss, the rhythm of friendship may change patterns, from quiet chimes to a crescendo of tympani, but always it is there keeping a steady beat of love.

We are happy to announce that the beat will continue to go on at this year’s Reed’s Run!

 

 

Easter Countdown #3 – One special Easter basket

There are times that I look at my children and think how incredibly lucky I am to have them as a part of my life.  At times, the life lessons learned from them is greater than anything I have learned from anyone else.  The Easter of 2008 is one such time.

Many people know of this incredible date, March 19, 2008, because of the cardinal that appeared when we, more specifically Sawyer, needed him more than anything.  This story made it around the world because it was shared over and over by our friends. What most people don’t know is another smaller event that occurred on the same day.

A few days prior, Sawyer had been cleared to take a few steps with a walker.  It had been one month since he had been able to be on his feet, and that small step of independence seemed liked a key to freedom.  Unfortunately, one missed step happened and Sawyer slipped, fell, and broke the heads off of two of the screws holding his leg together.  Another trip to the emergency room and that is where the smaller event took place.

The E.R. nurse, we later discovered, was the sister of the man who was also involved in the bus crash.  Our school bus fell on top of his pick-up.  We knew he, too, had been hurt very badly.  Sawyer took the time, despite excruciating pain to inquire as to how the gentleman was doing.  The report was not good.  He was feeling very low – wishing he could have done more to help.

That was all it took.  The seed was planted.  For days, Sawyer begged to go to the store to get something without ever really telling us what it was he desired so intently.  Because it was winter in Minnesota and not very easy to maneuver in a wheelchair, we stalled.  Eventually, his insistence won out, and off to the store, he and his dad went.

The thing he just had to have was puzzling to us.  He bought a tiny Easter basket, added a few small token gifts, and later, personally added hand-written a note.  Yes, he wanted to send a special message to the gentleman saying he didn’t blame him for anything that happened and that he wanted the man to know he was thinking of him and praying for him.  Tears of amazement mixed with pride streamed down our faces.

If memory serves me correctly, he talked his Uncle Sheldon into delivering that basket with no expectation of anything in return.  Rather simply, his desire was to do something nice when there was very little of anything else that he could do anywhere – at all.

Even though the gift was not meant to be reciprocated; we did learn that Sawyer’s new friend kept that basket right by his bed as long as he was at the care facility where he recuperated.  It wasn’t allowed to be moved or removed.  Learning that news helped Sawyer through many a dark night – knowing that he made a difference.

I still learn a lot from my kids, but I think this small act of love will be one of my most treasured Easter memories.

Take-away:  How often do we stop in the midst of our own storms to do something kind for someone else?  We are all capable of compassion, even when we are busy and overwhelmed.  More often than not, it isn’t the grandiose gestures, but the small things that really seem to get the most notice.  Jesus was BIG on small acts.  If we really think about it, other than believing in Him, there wasn’t anything he expected in return.  He loved and continues to love us with abandon.  The hands that were nailed to the cross also hold our names written across them.  Couldn’t we all be his hands and feet by doing acts of love even in small ways?  I truly believe that we can.

Easter Countdown #2 – Love God, Serve Others!

On our grief journey, we have learned that one of the things most helpful to our family has been the reminder given by Paul in 2 Corinthians.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Cor 1:4 (NCV) We have been comforted by simple acts of kindness and love, and now, we are able to do the same for others.

I distinctly remember Easter 2008 when my best friend called and said, “You are getting out of the house this weekend.”  I hadn’t left my children’s side (other than school for them) since the bus crash.  So I wasn’t sure how I was going to physically leave, but deep down I knew I needed to do it.  She told me that she had boiled about a bazillion eggs and that she and her family were coming over to dye Easter eggs with the kids.  She knew how much traditions (including egg-dyeing) mean to us.  She also knew I had zero energy to pull that off.  The day came and with God’s help, I mustered the courage and sense of peace to leave my house and take a break.

I have spoken about how simple acts fueled my family through many dark hours.  This is the type of comfort that I think Paul was addressing when he reminded us that we need to give to others the same comfort we were given.

For our Easter countdown activity, our family wanted to remember exactly how Jesus lived.  Throughout his life, he embodied our family’s mission statement: Love God, Serve Others!  It’s really that simple! In everything Jesus did, he humbled himself . . . fully God, yet fully human . . . to love on others, often the ones most neglected by others.  He fed, he nurtured, he wept,  he healed, he dried tears, he washed feet, . . never thinking of himself first, yet always knowing the precise amount of comfort to proffer.

As a family, we are often reminded of the love we felt when someone comforted us.  With all that in mind, we ventured off to the dollar store to purchase items for miniature baskets for a dear group of friends who we want to love on this week.  Sadly they were out of tiny baskets, but we found lovely Easter themed gift bags.

After returning home with our supplies in hand, we had supper and once again, got to work.  This time, we created an assembly line to stuff Easter grass, a tiny decoration, and chocolate bunny in our bags.  The whole time we talked about our friends and the special stories we have cherished from past times spent together.

We thought hard on who we could bless this week.  It didn’t take us long to decide, and of course, we had to the do the work for Huck, because he doesn’t have thumbs.  Our recipients will be Huck’s buddies at the nursing home that he visits.  The love that we receive from each resident pales in comparison to the joyful dog energy and companionship that we bring to them.  I think that Cloie’s card sums up what each of the residents mean to our family.

Through the visits our family has made to the nursing home, our children’s minds and hearts have been etched not to  fear the elderly, but instead see each one as a friend just waiting to be treasured.  Our only wish is that the love in those tiny packages carries as long as the love and memories that went into making them! If so, then Paul’s reminder will come true as the circle of love and comfort will continue to envelope others in our path!

Take-away: Is there someone in your circle of influence that could use a blessing this week?  Could you be the hands and feet of Jesus by serving someone else in love?  This doesn’t have to be costly, as a card or note can be a great pick me up!  If you are a baker, make a little extra of something yummy and share that.  Heaven is the limit on boundless love!

Idealism update: Please note how cluttered the rest of the room was while we worked on our masterpieces. 🙂  Despite what we all tell ourselves, you don’t have to have it all together to love on someone else!

A letter to my son

For the book contest give-away, please see the February 15 post.

Reed  – I can hardly believe four years ago at this hour, I was still trying to figure out where you were.  No answers were coming, and my heart was frantic after seeing the story in another mother’s eyes.  Yet, I clung to the hope only found in Jesus that you were okay.  I simply didn’t (and still don’t) know any other way to operate.  And even though, Daddy and I (along with Sawyer, Erin, and Cloie) didn’t receive the news we wanted, God still provides!  He provides the blessings of friendships, memories, hugs, and sometimes more than anything else, rest. 

 

In these four years, we have tried our very best to remember and honor your most important legacy of loving God with all our hearts, souls, and minds.  And I think that you would look down and smile at the ripples in the pond that your death created not only in our lives but in the lives of family, friends, and strangers. 

 

Just to give you a quick update of those ripples:

 

  • Many have shared that because of the faith of one sweet little redhead that they got right with God and are DEFINITELY going to see you in heaven now.  (Even if we never know the full story this side of heaven, this news is incredibly comforting.)
  • Your dog and best friend continues to touch the lives of others when he goes to visit friends at nursing homes.  The love you poured into him through the countless hours spent together shows in the way he gingerly and tenderly gives back.
  • The best friend who you spent most hours with is an awesome guy who I know you would still be proud to call your friend.
  • The best friend who shared your faith is probably one of the most live out loud Christians I know and is also a tireless worker at Reed’s Run.
  • The best friend who shared your church has grown into the most amazing prayer warrior and quiet leader.
  • Many other friends continue to share the difference that you made simply by being you, and now they, too, are making their own ripples.
  • Your love of reading lives on in a reading program up north at a daycare we chose to adopt. 
  • Your love of Star Wars is known far and wide.  People still joke and laugh about your send off.

 

Things are not always rosy. But when we feel sad and blue, some sweet person will send us a tangible reminder of God’s love, or we will hear that beautiful cardinal sing.  It’s then that we know that God is present in the here and now, and He is big enough to withstand our doubts, worries, and grief. 

 

When I look at your siblings, I am often reminded of the tangled web of emotions that you shared with each of them.  Those unique relationships are the impetus of your legacy cheetah program.  I can tell you that Sawyer’s comedy routines have only gotten better with time, and that you would hate them (because he still gets big laughs around here).  Erin has moved a long way past her first days of learning to shoot hoops.  She no longer has a “Laura, Mary, Carrie wind-up” to just be able to get the ball through the hoop.  And yes, we still cheer just as loud as we did back in the driveway with the “Ingalls” girls.  And Cloie, oh Reed, you would not believe how much of you is a part of her.  Her passion for learning and her heart for loving others are identical to yours.  She even has your penchant for opening the wrong side of the parmesan cheese.  Oopsies! 

 

Reed time doesn’t heal all wounds.  Despite what some think, we have closed on houses and business deals, but we will never close on our children.  With that said however, each and every day that we miss you, we know that God knows exactly what it is like to lose a Son.  He knows our pain intimately.  This past year we have decided as we bring a close to Reed’s Run the theme will be “To rise from tragedy, cling to HOPE.”  Every day, we choose to do exactly that, knowing in heaven to you it will be a blink of eye when you see us again.

 

Always proud to be your momma! Now and forever, clinging that HOPE!

 

Saying good-bye to a sweet, little friend.

He came to our family in an ususual way.  We had another feline friend for a few months, and that relationship didn’t fluorish.  She needed to be wild and free (and not biting all the guests that came to our house).  It was a difficult decision, but our vet convinced us that Daisy Duke wasn’t the kitty for our family.  Months went by and we didn’t desire to replace her.  That lack of interest was probably due to the fact that our original kitties had to get a new home following the bus crash.  It was all too much for all of us, and after much discussion, we had to find Shadow and Rescue new homes.  It was the best decision for them, even if it meant we felt like we were losing more family members. 

Months have gone by and not one mention on a new kitty.  That was until a chance encounter with our veterinarian.  She was wondering if we would ever be interested in a little special needs kitty.  The question caught me off-guard, because like I said, we weren’t looking.  My curiousity piqued, I inquired as to what type of special need.  We have experience fostering kitties (especially those abandoned by their mothers), and we have raised a few with bottles.  That wasn’t the new kitty’s issue.  He had experienced some kind of trauma (probably hit by a car), was dropped off at a farm, was promptly dumped at the veterinarian who tried to save his leg.  Ultimately, the leg couldn’t be saved, and here he was a little 3-legged ball of sweetness – who nobody wanted. 

Of course, my sense of cheering for the underdog (okay, undercat in this case) took over.  I agreed to take a look – on one condition.  This kitty would have to get along with Huck – numero uno, top dog and pet at Team Stevens Headquarters.  I shared his story with the kids, and  just like little apples fallen off the tree, their sense of truth and justice (and the American way) kicked in,  and they were ready to save this unseen kitty. 

We decided that I would pick up the kitty the next day for a trial overnight.  We all waited with fingers crossed hoping the moment Huck laid eyes on him would be like cherubim with harps came to serenade us all.  It was almost that perfect.  We all watched as I placed a tiny little 2.4 lbs kitty in front of a 97 lb golden retriever.  Instead of hissing with an arched back, that little ball of fluff nuzzled that big, old, wet nose and a friendship was born, not to mention the melting of all the human hearts in the room. 

That night we decided to name kitty, Ocho, because we figured he had already lost one life in the trauma that took his leg.  We promptly called the vet to say that we would emphatically NOT be bringing him back as he had already wrapped his little tail around our hearts.  Over the course of the next months, we discovered that he loved to cuddle, he was tolerant with kids, and he loved to wrestle with Huck which made the old boy seem so much younger than his 9 years.

 He was carted between our house and the neighbor’s for many playdates.  Ocho was loved by friends, family, and neighbors. He was dressed up in baby doll clothes and placed in baby doll cradles.  He was a willing participant in many different games and activities.  Sure he was a normal cat, and he loved to torment our preteen daughter’s toes in the middle of the night.  He loved a good snooze on any of the beds with a good sunshine fix in the afternoon.  Learning from the master, Huckleberry, he adapted those naps on occasion to the clean, fresh laundry piles I was folding. And of course, he intently watched the pigeons that we raise, but he never bothered them.  Nighttime prowls in our backyard were a staple, but he always returned home with a purr and a cuddle.

But then shortly after New Year’s we discovered our little Ocho (at 1 1/2 years old) was very sick.  We still don’t know yet what happened, but he developed some type of fluid in his chest cavity.  We watched, tried everything we could afford to do, and fretted for several days.  Deep down, we knew he wasn’t doing well. When Huck went and retrieved his beloved bone and laid it in front of his ailing friend, we simply knew it was time.  We had one last sleepover with Ocho, and I watched him throughout the night.  He was in so much pain that he never really rested.  We doted, we loved, and we doctored. 

Then we had to say good-bye.  He laid in my arms as I sobbed and told him that he was the best cat any family could have ever asked for.  He gave me one last nuzzle and breathed his last breath.  The guilt of letting him down was enormous.  Then the love of many friends reminded us that Ocho was a kitty that no one had wanted in the beginning, and that we had raised him lovingly, never letting him know that he was different from other cats. 

In the end, he taught us a lot about ourselves.  We will always, always, ALWAYS, root for the undercat!  We will also remember that BIG LOVE can come in little packages.   We learned that friends love us when we’re down and are there for us no matter what, knowing full well FRIENDS like that are hard to find! 

Now that we’ve said our goodbyes, we just hope we will be able to find him in heaven because we are certain he now has 4 legs!

Faith-Family-Football: The Magic of Weddings

Last weekend, I had the amazing opportunity to be a part of the wedding of a former student who over time became just like one of my own children.  My son, Sawyer, was also in the wedding, and it was one of the most beautiful wedding ceremonies I have ever attended. 

Looking back, I don’t think that I have ever attended a wedding in December, and perhaps that is why the atmosphere seemed so divinely magical.  The church’s sanctuary was draped in greenery and lights in anticipation of upcoming Christmas day, and the reminder of our Savior’s birth. 

My job that day was to be a reader.  The verses chosen for me were from Genesis chapter 2 where God makes Adam a helper and the two are deemed one flesh.  More on that later . . .

As the evening progressed, I realized just how incredibly blessed I was and how honored I was to have a special part in the day.  My realization came because I fielded numerous questions of how in the world did a former science teacher become so beloved to be listed as honorary mother in the wedding bulletin. 

The simple answer is . . . God.  God’s definition of family is so much more broad than our limited scope.  The evolution from teacher to mother was simple.  Our families became friends, and then following one of the darkest moments in my life, Josh emerged as beacon of God’s light shining through to us.  This incredible young man made a pledge to my children to be their big brother following the death of our son and later the death of another “adopted” big brother/youth pastor.  That commitment is one that he and now his bride, Nicole, have honored over the last 3 1/2 years.  They have been faithfully involved in our children’s lives, and we couldn’t be more blessed.

Throughout the wedding day, every time we turned around there was some small detail that reminded us of how loving and caring Josh and Nicole both are. If ever there was a match made in heaven, these two are the embodiment.  Their love for others was exuding in every detail from a hot cocoa “bar” replete with peppermint straws and TONS of marshmallows for the kids to flowers on the altar in memory of lost loved ones (including Reed).

The ceremony was beautiful, the reception classy and elegant – yet down-to-earth so that you could feel at home, and the dance was catered to young and old alike.   As I danced with my honorary son on the night of his wedding, I was overcome with joy with a little hint of sadness because I knew this was the closest I would ever come to Reed having a wedding.  And yet, in my heart I knew that Reed would have fully embraced this union seeing that it was so divinely blessed. 

Even though so much attention is put on the wedding itself these days, there was never a doubt that these two are committed to God’s concept of forever.  Their goal was a lifelong marriage covenant sealed by God and blessed by their friends and families.  This is the type of fairy-tale commitment to vows that makes even the hardest heart believe in true love. 

Going back to that Bible verse.  Josh and Nicole simply e-mailed me the verses, and I began to practice them.  From the first moment they arrived in my inbox, I cried.  Nicole and Josh had no idea (until they read this blog) what is engraved on the inside of my ring.  So even though our family was put together by God’s knowledge of a need that we all had, I have to image that he KNEW what verses would be chosen and what it would mean to me.  Amazingly, the inside of my ring is engraved with two little words: ONE FLESH.

The greatest Love story ever told begins its commemoration in just a few short days.  And God’s love for two little families in southwestern Minnesota was reinforced, upheld, and sanctified with just two little words.  Isn’t God amazing!