Tag Archives: inspiration

The perfect graduation party

I love to plan parties.  Big or small, I adore them.  Sometimes I get excited over a giant squash grown in our garden, and that alone is a good enough reason to host a party.  I will say that if I had more hours in a day, one of the many businesses I would love to own is party planning one.  Recently, we had a graduation party – well, with one obvious hitch – the graduate would be celebrating in heaven.

We had planned ahead, found the perfect day and sent save the date cards to Reed’s best friends from his class, his cousins, and his favorite teachers.  Originally we had planned a Star Wars Day (May the 4th) gathering, with hopes that the force would be with us. Fingers crossed that Reed’s beloved Minnesota Twins would have a home game.  What’s not to love about merging two of his favorites with all his favorite people!

Apparently the Sith scheduler didn’t check with us as our desired date was for an away game in Ohio.  THAT party was a little out the budget.  Once the game schedule was out, we soon realized that we needed a Plan B. Sadly no light sabers could be used for bats in this one.

We decided to move the party ahead three weeks.  New invitations, lots of correspondence with the Twins organization, phone calls to the rental bus company, and other preparations were in high gear.

Finally, the week came.  This year Minnesota’s weather is getting on my last nerve.  Right before our trip, we had blizzard-like conditions in April. Knowing my tendency to fret, one of Reed’s favorite teachers stopped me and said, “You know it might be cold on Saturday, but we will be warm in our hearts thinking of Reed.”  Everyone needs friends like this, and I am blessed to have them!

Her words completely changed my perspective.  I was so worried a forecasted high in the 30’s meant we would freeze at an outdoor baseball game, and our guests wouldn’t have a good time.  She also reminded me that Reed would have never been daunted by this weather.  He would have just loved being able to go to the ball park.  Truer words were never spoken.  My little ray of sunshine would have told us to just bundle up.

The big day arrived.  I would love to tell you I didn’t fret, but I really wanted the day to be perfect for all of us. After picking up the rental mini-buses, we gathered our family and away we went to collect the rest of the party goers.  We christened each bus with a name: Faith and Love.

Always a teacher, I explained other than a collective love for Reed, it was our faith and love that held this group together.  Even if we had differences among us, TODAY we were going to show the world how faith and love conquer everything.  After the pep talk, we grasped hands, surrounding the flagpole like Reed organized years ago, and prayed for our safety and for us all to do the red-headed Boy Wonder proud.

The trip up was amazing, filled with swapped stories – a family reunion of sorts on wheels.  After a fun trip on the light rail, we arrived at the Twins stadium – all twenty-five of us.  We had great seats – which fortunately turned out to be right next to the built-in heaters.  Just in case, we were bundled from head to toe, looking like the little brother in The Christmas Story movie.

We laughed. We cheered. We ate ball park food, but mostly, we all remembered the boy who brought us all together.  We were an eclectic mix of excitement with a touch of sorrow when upon the megatron appeared: WELCOME REED STEVENS FRIENDS AND FAMILY.  Of all of us, he would have been the most proud of having his name shining brightly for the world to see.

But wasn’t that the point of the day? For those who loved him to carry his spark and light to the rest of the world.  On that day, I sincerely believe we let our little lights shine bright enough that we never felt the cold. Reed’s teacher was right; my heart was warmed – surrounded by such love.

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Despite the cold weather, the Twins losing the game, and all the frenetic planning, my perfect day wasn’t elusive after all.  It was right there . . . in the middle of all that love for one young man who brought us all together.

Faith and love: I’m pretty sure we did Jesus and Reed proud at the “perfect” graduation party.

Could I have this dance?

Email001When I woke up twenty years ago, it was to a congratulatory call from my Aunt Nernie.  What she couldn’t see was an episode of four in the bed and the little one said, “Roll over.”  As myself and three bridesmaids, all rolled in unison for the phone to be passed down the line to eventually reach me.  The night before had been filled with rehearsals (with one absent-for-a-moment dad due to an emergency room visit), my father-in-law charming my mother, a semi-truck full of potato chips (long story), a personal shower, and much later learning to line dance in a friend’s house.  All in all: a pretty eventful evening.

After rolling out of bed, I discovered there was actually snow on the ground. Thankfully, I earlier changed my mind on the outdoor wedding my heart was set on.  I drove by the church to see sweet little men and women from the church were there early cleaning snow off the carpeted steps with a wet/dry vac.

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The next few hours were a blur as I remember very little until . . . the moment I almost didn’t get married.  I was to meet the cake decorator (our original baker backed out on us at the last minute) at the hall for payment and set-up.  When she opened the box upon the hallowed spot, my jaw dropped.  It was quite possibly the ugliest pile of sugar confectionary I had ever laid eyes on.  I complained and got a pat answer of, “When you use fruit, it bleeds.   You should know that.”  Needless to say, I didn’t know THAT, and didn’t want THAT cake.  I proceeded to my parents house (where earlier in the week they had hosted a movie night for all of the girls in the wedding party featuring Father of the Bride and where many of our relatives had travelled to stay.)  The house was full of people having sandwiches with tomatoes sliced so thin by my Aunt Patty that you would have thought we were hosting a Ginzu commercial (not a wedding) while my Nanny was busy embellishing with flourish pew bows.  I came into the house of crazy and plopped on the floor, tears streaming down, announcing, “I cannot get married today.”

My parents were concerned but kept going with preparations.  My Grandaddy who always hated to see me cry was comforting me saying, “Oh Baby, please don’t cry.  You will make your pretty eyes swell.”  But the man who saved the day was my Uncle Rendell who asked my mother if she had a BIG knife.  The whole room stopped as my perplexed mother obligingly got him said knife.  He then said, “C’mon girl.  We are having a wedding today.  I came all this way from Georgia (to North Dakota).” I protested that my honor had been defiled by the ugliness of that cake, and I wasn’t getting married with that thing present.  “That’s what this here knife is for. We are going to go cut that ol’ ugly cake up and no one will ever see it.”  I have always loved my uncle, but never had I loved him more than at that one moment.  He made me laugh – the day was saved.

I later learned that at the same time I was having my moment my husband-to-be was pacing back and forth so badly his family thought he would wear out his rental shoes.

Again another big whirlwind of blur – getting my hair, nails, and makeup done, getting pictures before the service, and then it was time for the day I had dreamt about since I was a little girl.  My brother and I sang before the processional, and I remember one lady (a date of my husband’s college roommate) complaining that the church was too full as she entered the balcony.  I politely told her once I was done singing she could have my spot because I had a date with that gorgeous young man down front.  (We never invited her to anything again because we love full!)

Then came the poetic notes of Canon in D, and we proceeded forward.  There were lots of special moments in the service too – looking out and seeing that people were actually standing outside (it did get warmer) watching, the room filled with loved ones from both our families, our nephew falling asleep before it was over, and many,  many more.  But my favorite service moment was when the sweet Catholic priest embraced my Baptist heritage by asking all in attendance to say a hearty “AMEN!” to each of the points of the final blessing.  It was beautiful – two dichotomously different families blending into one.  The harmonious reply illuminated how loved we were (and are) by all present.

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As we entered the limo to take us to the hall, we leaned over to kiss only to discover that seated between us was my nine-year-old sister (who was my maid of honor).  I will admit that almost fifteen years later I snuck into her limo to repay her the favor.

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The dinner and dance were magical as two families blended together for one incredible party. I still remember memorable greetings from the reception line.   The food was down home and simple which is just how I wanted it.  Apparently, no one noticed or our guests too genteel  to mention the cake. I danced with my husband to Anne Murray’s Could I have this dance?, and I melted into his arms as we swayed around the dance floor.  Then I danced with my Dad, my Granddaddy, my Uncle Rendell, and my Uncle Buddy (who later paid an exorbitant amount to win my garter).  Magical moments I will never forget as all five of those men are ones I have always adored.

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Next to those dances, my favorite moment of the evening was being serenaded by a group of people led by my Uncle Buddy to the Louisiana written tune “You are my sunshine” which was fitting because he is from that great state.   We finally obliged the crowd with a kiss when the word, “love” was sung.  The entire evening was enchanting.

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As wonderful as that evening was, nothing could have prepared us for hard work, trials, and joys that really describe our marriage.  All of the time and energy that went into that wedding paled in comparison to the time we spent in preparation with God for our big day.  In fact, it went back eighteen months prior when on our first date we talked about God and faith, eventually sharing what we hoped we would find someday for a marriage and later raising a family.  We just didn’t know at the time the person who would be a part of that dream was the one seated across from the other.

Twenty years is almost half of my life.  Not all of those years were good, but we persevered and stuck together.  Our faith holding us together when at times we both felt like that cake.  Thankfully, we always knew that God saw us as beautiful even when we couldn’t see it ourselves.  Over the years that third cord has bound us together and held us up when we needed Him the most.

Twenty years: seven children, the best dog in the world, a few great cats over the years,  (a turtle, lizard, newts, frogs, pigeons,  and anything else I drug home and loved), more friends than we can count stars in the skies, some incredible memories, tears shed both in suffering and in laughter (the first of which being when the detachable train fell off my dress walking up and a little old lady chased me down to re-attach it), two college and two Master’s degrees, a house that is truly a home, amazing vacations, a shared passion of gardening, good food, and nature.

Twenty years: to finishing each other’s sentences, to thinking the same thing much of the time, a shared love of ridiculous humor, a combined joy of raising fantastic kids, a combined sorrow of saying goodbye too soon to four of them, and a best friend whom you cannot imagine life without.

So glad the dance continues with him . . . including homemade cards, family plays in the backyard, butterfly kisses, Blizzards for supper, snuggling in the bleachers, serving our God together, and all of life’s blessings.

Not a single day spent without prayer – thanking God for all of his blessings – especially each other.

Seeing clearly after the fog

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Although he brings sorrow, he also has mercy and great love. Lamentations 3:32

This morning I started my day as usual with devotions.  Technology was not my friend as my Bible app would not open.  Not to be deterred, I grabbed my Devotional Bible – edited by Max Lucado – from my nightstand.  As I was heading to Ezekiel, my trusty book fell open to Lamentations.  Not just anywhere in Lamentations – nope – at a page that I had dog-eared and worn.  The highlighted words were a mirror reflection of where I was at last week – in a fog.

Thankfully, I had friends and family members praying for me and guiding me through what was quite possibly the hardest day of my life since the bus crash.  I did make it through, and miraculously with God’s help the fog lifted almost immediately.

I don’t believe in coincidences.  I needed that reminder this morning that God was not absent last week, nor was He when my son died.

I’m a prayer vigil person.  If I cannot sleep, it is usually because God has someone in mind that I should be praying for.  Last night was no different.  I have several friends, their kids, and communities facing a fog of their own.  So, I prayed . . .

While I personally cannot do much other than that to help ease the storm for each of them right now, I can remind them that there is one who can lift the fog.  My life story is a testament to that fact. Cling to him and He will guide you to new found peace.

The devotional below is from “No Wonder They Call Him the Savior” by Max Lucado.

The fog of the broken heart.

It’s a dark fog that slyly imprisons the soul and refuses easy escape.  It’s a silent mist that eclipses the sun and beckons the darkness.  It’s a heavy cloud that honors no hour and respects no person. Depression, discouragement, disappointment, doubt . . . all are companions of this dreaded presence.

The fog the broken heart disorients our life.  It makes it hard to see the road.  Dim your lights.  Wipe off the windshield.  Slow down.  Do what you wish, nothing helps.  When this fog encircles us, our vision is blocked and tomorrow is a forever away.  When this billowy blackness envelops, the most earnest words of help and hope are but vacant phrases.

If you have ever been betrayed by a friend, you know what I mean. If you have ever been dumped by a spouse or abandoned by a parent, you have seen this fog.  If you have ever placed a spade of dirt on a loved one’s casket or kept vigil at a dear one’s beside, you, too, recognize this cloud.

If you have been in this fog, or are in it now, you can be sure of one thing – you are not alone.  Even the saltiest of sea captains have their bearings because of the appearance of this unwanted cloud.  . .

Think back over the last two or three months.  How many broken hearts did you encounter? How many wounded spirits did you witness? How many stories of tragedy did you read about? . . .

The list goes on and on, doesn’t it?  Foggy tragedies. How they blind our vision and destroy our dreams.  Forget any great hopes of reaching the world.  Forget any plans of changing society. Forget any aspirations of moving mountains. Forget all that. Just help me make it through the night!

The suffering of the broken heart . . .

Seeing God . . .does wonders for our own suffering.  God was never more human than at this hour.  God was never nearer to us than when he hurt.  The Incarnation was never so fulfilled as in the garden. 

As a result, time spent in the fog of pain could be the God’s greatest gift.  It could be the hour that we finally see our Maker . . . Maybe in our suffering we can see God like never before.

The next time you are called to suffer, pay attention.  It may the closest you ever get to God.  Watch closely.  It could very well be that the hand that extends itself to lead you out of the fog is a pierced one. 

I know the story behind this song, but sometimes I believe that it was written just for me.  I think music is often a reflection of my soul and story.

Not your typical Mother’s Day tribute

Mark Twain once said, “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

I don’t know the circumstances regarding the utterance, but I think we all understand the meaning.  I know that more than once in my life I have had to muster up strength and courage to fight against all kinds of injustice.  I’m proud to know my own children carry that legacy on, and we affectionately refer to one of our kids as “the truth and justice meter”.  More than once, I have heard my husband say, “She may be small, but she is scrappy. My money is on her.”  I don’t actually consider myself small, but my “fight” in this world can pack a mighty wallop.

The truth is this is one trait where the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

In most ways, I take after my dad from chosen career to genetic traits.  But there is one trait that I definitely get from my mom.  The tenacity to never give up and to fight when no one else speaks up are pretty big legacies.

I am reminded of a time from my childhood when my mom accomplished the bravest thing I have ever seen anybody do.  Now, if you were to ask her, I probably have some of the details wrong, but remember,  it is my elementary school brain that remembers the story.

Long ago, my parents were dorm parents.  We lived in the apartment complex attached to the Men’s Athletic dormitory at Columbus (GA) College.  To us kids, it felt like we lived in a castle.  There was lots of room to romp and play, with the exception being right out our back door.  The neighbors had “some type of something” going on over there that involved large and vicious-sounding dogs.  Most likely, those were real fighting dogs.  The people, who we rarely ever saw, kept those dogs tied out on short stakes with no shade in the hot Georgia weather, day and night.  If one of us kids so much as stepped foot back there, those dogs literally warned us with their growling and snarling not to do it again.  They were big, barking behemoths that scared us to death.

Then one day came the thunderstorm of all thunderstorms.  Deep, dark, threatening clouds that released thunderous noise, bright lightning, and golf ball hailstones terrorized our neighborhood.  My mom looked out the window at the storm, but instead of seeing the weather, her heart was broken.  All she saw was frightened animals who were being pummeled by hailstones.  Putting her own life at risk, she gathered up cardboard boxes and went out into the storm.  All I can remember doing is holding my brother and crying, watching her go from one dog to another to provide each one with a rudimentary shelter.

Sopping wet,  cold and I am certain bruised, shed didn’t bother to towel off before she proceeded to call the police upon returning inside.  From there, the details get fuzzy, but I do know that she was called to testify in court about the maltreatment of those animals.

And she did!

An injustice had occurred and if no one else was going to stand up for those dogs, she would.

One day, the dogs were all gone, and she told us the police came and picked them up.  I would like to believe that they went to loving homes, but even if they didn’t . . .

I am so proud of my mom and the fight left in her “dog”.  It is a lesson I never forgot.

This picture is 5 years old, but it is one of the few I have with my mom and her mom in recent years.  (my daughter, my mom, me, my other daughter, and my Nanny).  This will be our first Mother's Day without Nanny.

This picture is 5 years old, but it is one of the few I have with my mom and her mom in recent years. (my daughter, my mom, me, my other daughter, and my Nanny). This will be our first Mother’s Day without Nanny.

What a momma won’t do . . .

In the spirit of Mother’s Day weekend, I have spent some time thinking about the joys (and struggles) of motherhood.  Being a momma IS and forever WILL BE my most important work.  I am not alone in this belief.  I have so many great examples of what good mommas do that I really felt compelled to write this today.

In the last few months, I have watched my friends and family make momma sacrifices that would flood the GNC (that’s the Good News Channel)  I hope to start one day.  (Of course, I know nothing about television or radio, but I do know the world needs to hear a little more good news – not to mention the Good News – everyday.)

Here are some recent examples of what a good momma won’t do:

  • Let her child fail at school when the pieces aren’t adding up.  (She finds a good tutor or helper.)
  • Let her child fight huge battles alone. (She digs out and puts on her boxing gloves.)
  • Let her children squirm out of consequences. (But, she is there to encourage them anyway.)
  • Let her children lose their imaginations. (She disconnected the cable.)
  • Let her child miss out on an opportunity. (She sacrifices time, energy and resources to make it happen.)
  • Let her baby believe something (even small) will be easy.  (Yes, it’s going to hurt, but she will be with you every step of the way.)
  • Let her child think they are the only one. (She shares scars from her past.)
  • Let her children assume that heartbreak is a private pain to bear. (She weeps in front of them.)

I could go on and on, as I am surrounded by good mommas every day in my world.  Generations ahead and those coming behind me have inspired me each and every day to strive to become the best momma I can be.

I am travelling this weekend to North Dakota, and the main reason for that trip is what one momma won’t do.  She won’t preach what she doesn’t practice.  I remember the conversation that started a long, arduous, but ultimately fulfilling, journey for her.  Yesterday, my sister (after knowing her for 20+ years, we dropped the in-law part) walked across the stage  earning her Associates of Science Degree in Nursing.  She awaits Board Certification, but she is an RN.  But those capped and gowned steps didn’t really show the whole story the eleven of us in the audience already knew. A single mom of four, her footsteps started as an idea when her oldest was a freshman in high school.  How can I preach to him to go to college when I never did? Wow!  I remember being blown away by her words.  I was speechless (which I admit is rare for me).  She went on to say that her dream had always been to be a nurse, and she had researched the local community college and found a program that fit her needs.  I will have some tough classes.  Will you tutor me? Absolutely!  My chips were all in for the biggest prize ever – helping her succeed!  She found resources (including me, the other sisters, Grandma, her own children, community members, other students, faculty, staff, & the TRIO program), showing her children that sometimes it takes a village to raise a momma.  She spent long hours, staying up past when the kids were in bed to study.  She sacrificed in countless ways to prove to her children that she VALUES education.  Her past three years have been a testament to will and determination as well as hard work and a few tears.

So yesterday, if all those other people at the college graduation didn’t see it, let me tell you what you missed – a momma who practices what she preaches strut across the stage as a college graduate.

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I am SO THANKFUL that I was there to witness each step of what a momma won’t do.

Of blanket forts and stuffies

Special thanks to "Brave to Just Be Me" at Tumblr

Special thanks to “Brave to Just Be Me” at Tumblr

Every child’s spring should jump in puddles, play in the wind, involve something with baseball,  and watch for birds and flowers to return.

I enjoy each of those things, but one holds a special place in my heart. Baseball! A few years back, we wanted to attend opening day festivities for the Minnesota Twins when they were still playing in the Metrodome. Sadly, my husband was travelling, and it was too overwhelming to make the six hour round trip during the middle of the week with, at the time, three small children.  I had long, sad faces.  The kind of faces where suddenly you realize your children could be eyelash models.

During the day I hatched a plan that I thought would be the best alternative given the circumstances.  I sent everyone out to play when we arrived home from school, under the guise that they needed to enjoy the beautiful day.  I reassured them I would call them in when supper was ready. While they were outside playing, I stripped beds and dug out every white sheet and chair that we owned.  When called in for supper, they arrived to find our living room transformed into the Metrodome West, replete with hot dogs and popcorn.  We spent the most magical evening watching the game, and enjoying the fact that at our Metrodome, you could lay on the floor.

I was reminded of that magical time when last Friday evening, I watched my youngest start hauling one blanket at a time up the stairs while I was busy organizing in the basement.  My husband, eyebrows raised, asked,  “What are you doing with all these blankets and when are you going to pick all that up?” Her swift response mentioned that she was having a meeting with her stuffies.

As a true connoisseur of blanket forts, I knew exactly what the twinkle in her eye meant.  Being the youngest and the only one home that evening, she was creating her own fun.  There was a party (which actually had some serious conversation) going on between one little curly-headed girl and a whole bunch of stuffed animals, snuggled safely in the confines of their fleecy abode.

Eventually, my freckled-face sweetie emerged with the results of the meeting.  The item on the agenda was who among them would be able to attend the school field trip to the Teddy Bear Clinic. Enter the music and words from the Charlie Brown special where Snoopy wants to visit the little girl in the hospital.  Only one stuffie allowed!  Would it be Joe, the teddy bear who saw a sweet little girl through nights of terrors after her brother was killed, but who has a penchant for mischief?  Would it be Bacon, the pig, who loved a little girl at grief camp and who has a secret life as a superpig? How about Reed-y bear made from her brother’s clothes?   Or Pork Chop, another pig who came home with us after a swim meet and likes to lounge by bedroom windows? The only catch for tomorrow’s field trip is the stuffie might get a shot and possibly a cast. After a lengthy discussion, a decision had been made.

Curled up in my arms, she confided only Reed-A-Cheetah, who teaches others about loving in the face of tragedy, was brave enough to go on the adventure. Right there with those tiny arms wrapped in mine, messes didn’t matter, because I knew that imaginations were alive and well. Mine was the only house on the block with a VIP board room, and more importantly, one stuffy brave enough to protect little girls lives here.

The tale of two Reeds

I wish I could locate my photos of the two Reeds together.

I wish I could locate my photos of the two Reeds together.

I received one of the sweetest text messages ever today, while still snuggled in my quilts and pjs.  The message was simple:

May the 4th be with you!  Thinking of you and Reed today. Love you!

It was a simple acknowledgement of how fun this day was to our favorite little redhead, but more so, the remembrance that someone recognized we would miss him, just a little more today.  Written in the text was a whole lot of love from a friend who always brings me joy.

Once up, I spent a little bit of time searching for the perfect Star Wars video on Youtube.  I wanted one that would make my proclamation of love for my Jedi, who actually had the e-mail address jedione@????.??? once upon a time.  Settling on the link below, I posted a quick tribute and was off to spend the rest of the morning with my family.

All was well, until I stepped outside in bare feet to deliver items to the recycling bin.  Ouch!  That is cold!  (Later in the day, I actually noticed a few snowflakes mixed in with the drizzle that persisted throughout the day.)  If ever a light saber would come in handy, today was it. Of course, it  could have functioned as a blue therapy light as well.  I might actually have to look into that.  Additionally, I would want it to make the great sounds effects as well – which would doubly serve to lift my sad spirits.

After reading the thermometer (a not so balmy 38 F) by my kitchen window, I got the chuckles. You know those that I seem to have a proclivity for, the kind that bubble up from a deeply hidden well-spring that just erupt forth spewing uncontrollable laughter.

The source of my giggles was from a cold April day in Alabama many, many years ago.  I was living with my grandparents during graduate school at Auburn University.  My Papa (pronounced pawpaw) and I were going on one adventure of sorts.  Upon stepping outside that day, we noticed our breath in the air, which was not typical in late April in Opelika.  We (well okay I) went back in to get a warmer jacket.  Papa Reed was dressed appropriately – because he was astute follower of the best weather forecaster around: The Farmer’s Almanac.  Anyways, once I finally joined him, he dropped some good ol’ fashioned country knowledge on his young, but educated granddaughter.  “Gal, it’s cold as a blue lizard out here.”

I still remember looking at him and bursting into laughter.  If that saying didn’t describe the situation to a tee, I don’t know what one would.  He relished my giggles and we continued on, him with a twinkle in his eye and me with a giggle at the ready.

Standing at the kitchen counter today, I could almost picture my two Reeds in heaven, each with those sparkling blue eyes.

One saying:  “Momma, May the 4th be with you!” and the other saying, “Yep, Gal, still cold as a blue lizard.”

Today, I am grateful that God gave me the opportunity to love both of them.

Here we go . . . again

It is April 18th today, and my children were released from school early because of a snowstorm.  I snapped this picture of my favorite goat (a tin ware caprine friend given to me by one of my favorite families).  Poor Beauregard was plastered, prompting an immediate rescue.  Hope springs eternal, and ol’ Beau has seen more than his share of winter in the two weeks he’s been back standing sentinel on the front stoop.

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What he has witnessed got me to thinking about another time honored evidence of spring.  Each year, we watch, waiting for our feathered friends to alight our yard. The arrival of robins in my neck of the woods also means the utterance of old time sayings.  Most have something to do with the emergence of spring, but one in particular seems to be most fitting.  

Gotta snow three times on a robin’s (or you could substitute guard goat’s) back before it’s spring. 

This year the saying is definitely true.  And it’s been verifiable a few other times in my life as well.  Today marks number three for cold, white backs on our red-breasted birds.

While the rest of us begrudge and bemoan what seems like the worst winter yet (basically because we were spoiled with virtually no snow and warmer temperatures last year), there are others like a dear friend of mine who are thanking God for the miserable weather.

Sometimes it takes the wisdom of someone walking through a storm of life for you to really gain perspective. Chatting at church last night, my friend shared that she, too, was sick of winter, but then she figured God has a plan for everything.

Turns out a little boy very close to her is doing battle in his own body (Enemy #1 = leukemia).  For the next so-many days, he is restricted to indoors while the war wages on.  What’s the best way to stop sick little boys from playing outside in the fresh springtime air?  The answer: make the weather miserable so he doesn’t want to go out.

Wow! Talk about a different perspective.  While we still have our struggles here, some snow on the ground or extra days in school are pretty small beans in comparison to fighting for your life.  Yet, it took the words of a worried friend to give me new vision.

Safe, secure, and snuggled in with my precious babes, today I am going to look at each flake as a blessing from God.

 And just in case we get a whole lot more blessings on any backs, I will let ol’ Beau vacation a little longer in the house.

Just when I thought I was safe

Picture found at www.awayathomemom.com whose blog on this subject made me chuckle.

Picture found at www.awayathomemom.com whose blog on this subject made me chuckle.

I had the honor of speaking to a MOPS group in a town not-so-far from my own this morning.  It was a blessing, bringing joy to my heart with the knowledge that my story of forgiveness touched other lives.  Time and time again, God has used events in my life to teach me about His heart for forgiveness.  Totally unscripted as I stood there before those sweet mommas; I knew how I was to end the talk.

Without forgiveness, mercy and grace are just words. 

It was a great experience, and I am glad I had the chance to go.  But that isn’t what I am choosing to share with y’all.  No, today I am going to share one of those divine appointments that just make you smile.

One my drive to the church, I had drunk a large Coke which didn’t seem to be a problem until I was backing out of the parking lot to head home.  Now here is a serious lesson in pride – something this girl could use some work on.  I was too prideful to scoot back in and ask to use the church’s restroom.  Racking my brain on what was available in Montevideo, I made a bee-line to the mecca of all Southern girls: Wal-mart.

As I entered into the bathroom, I ran into a mom of one of my children’s former classmates.  We hadn’t seen each other in a while, and I don’t think she recognized me at all.  Thus, it wasn’t time for a reunion in the potty department. First, I really had to go, and second, who does that?  Hey!  I know our daughters were not really friends, but your child used to be a classmate of my child.  So nice to see you!  Glad we bumped into each other.  I love what they’ve done with the place.  That probably never really happens.

I soon discovered that this mom wasn’t using the facilities, in the traditional sense.  Nope! Instead of bathroom, it was her conference room. She was having a cell-phone conversation with another one of her children (who apparently made a bad choice at school).  She proceeded to coach the child on what she expected of him; told him, yes in fact, he was in trouble; and explained how he was to apologize the teacher and make better choices for the rest of the day.  She ended with the words all children need to hear: I love you.

Then it came over me, and I knew why God put me in THAT bathroom at THAT very time. Seriously God! I am tinkling here, and you want me to tell that Mom you are proud of her. 

Apparently, her child thought the conversation was over and hung up.  But this mom called back to the school to make sure she connected with the teacher. (This was a good thing because I still needed to wash and dry my hands, and I didn’t want to have to chase her around the rolled-back discounts.)

While she was on hold, I walked right over to her and said, “If no one has told you this in a while, God wants you to know:  YOU are a really good momma.”  I stayed long enough to see tears well up in the corner of her eyes, and then I excused myself.

I keep my eyes and ears open to how I can bless others, but this was new. . . even for me.  So I guess, today I am thanking God for good mommas and full bladders.

Jesus and his peeps

I found this picture on hypervocal.com.  I would love to credit the original creator.  It is not listed on their site.

Jesus & Judas – I found this picture on hypervocal.com. I would love to credit the original creator. It is not listed on their site and it is stunning work.

When Clo was just over a year old, Reed taught her to say “What up my peeps?”.  Seeing that curly-headed bundle of sweetness toddle around saying such a thing made anyone within earshot burst into laughter.  It was one of the first things my future brother-in-law heard my kids say. Big brothers, argh!

A quick look at my Facebook account reveals that I am just shy of my own 400 peeps. (I’m not actually counting, and I had to go look it up.)  I have been blessed with such amazing friends that my cup runneth over.  Some of the KF’s (Kandy’s Friends) I have only met once and others I have never met in person but business dealings have connected us across the miles.  I epitomize the saying that it isn’t what you have but who you have in your life. A closer look would find that there is an inner sanctum – the tight circle of besties that are there for me before I even need to send out the bat signal. Yet missing in that number are a few who have brought me heartache through the years, and though I have forgiven them I just haven’t been able to stick my heart back into their drama.  For some of those relationships it took me years to realize that we weren’t good for each other. I read a book once that in a nutshell brought relief to this girl’s heart and soul.  The author relayed that God calls us to forgive those that hurt us, but He doesn’t call us to live with basement dwellers – those that perpetually bring us down.  That simple statement was freeing to me.

A while back I went with a friend whom I admire to our church’s regional women’s leadership conference.  One of the speakers was a really young priest (I forget which denomination), but she was a dynamic speaker.  She spoke on the thousands that came to see Jesus, but that mostly he was surrounded by a group of close friends. Later, she talked about those hurts committed against us by those closest to us.  This is something that I really understand.  What came out of her mouth next totally shocked me.  “Jesus gets it.  He gets when someone you love lets you down and hurts you deeply.  Remember – here she paused and lowered her voice – he only ended with 11 friends because one of them (Judas) defaulted.”

What did she just say?  Her words rained down like a soothing balm to my soul.  The point of her talk was a reminder to take our hurts before the Lord of Lords because he understood hurt and betrayal.  I love Jesus, and I love “talking” to Him, but never once in forty years had I thought about that He too was let down by his friend.  And not just once either – Thomas doubted, Peter denied and those are only the examples of the ones we know about.

Jesus laughed and cried with his friends (not just the disciples).  The sweetest verse to me is John 11:35 Jesus wept (NIV) when he learned of his friend Lazarus death. That verse reminds me that he did hurt emotionally. His heart leapt when He celebrated with His friends.  He rejoiced. He attended weddings and parties, and He stayed up late just talking with His friends.  He also retreated, prayed, rested, and loved.

Hey – wait a minute!  We do all those same things, but seldom do we stop and think that Jesus – in His humanness – did a lot of stuff with his friends just like us.  Why did I never stop to think that he too was hurt by them as well? As Easter is approaching, we remember that Jesus was fully God and that he took on the sins of the world, but we forget that he was also fully human, feeling the same things you and I experience.

He was wounded by humanity, but his heart was wounded by one close to him first.  Simply the sweet little priest was right; Jesus gets it. When we are hurt or wounded, we really can turn to him.  He’s there with open arms and listening ears. Although, I don’t think he would really say it, it might be easier to reach out if we envision him saying, “What up my peep?”  You never can tell . . .