{"id":1121,"date":"2013-11-03T13:26:12","date_gmt":"2013-11-03T13:26:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kandynolesstevens.com\/?p=1121"},"modified":"2013-11-03T13:26:12","modified_gmt":"2013-11-03T13:26:12","slug":"shock-awe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/?p=1121","title":{"rendered":"Shock & Awe"},"content":{"rendered":"

A few days ago, I sat waiting once again for one of my children to undergo another surgery that was a direct result of injuries sustained in the bus crash that often feels like the albatross around my neck.\u00a0 We have been doctoring for four of those years while she has dealt with debilitating migraines, out of control sinus issues, and difficulty breathing during sports.\u00a0 Knowing she has allergies, we sincerely thought allergies and asthma were the cause of all of this.\u00a0 Our allergist thought differently, and started doing some pretty extensive detective work.\u00a0 Searching through her past medical records and knowing that no allergen treatment had been effective, he ordered more scans and sent us to an ENT. \u00a0I never once suspected what we were told the day we met with him.<\/p>\n

Looking at this old CT scan, I don\u2019t see anything amiss.\u00a0 <\/i><\/p>\n

The radiologist report says the most recent one is good too, but three days after it was taken she had a major sinus infection.<\/p>\n

Well, I don\u2019t know that I agree with that report.\u00a0 See this . . . she has a deviated septum and these turbinates are completely engulfed in swollen tissues.\u00a0 It is no wonder you cannot breathe out of your nose! Did some sort of trauma happen to you when you were younger? <\/i><\/p>\n

It was at that precise moment when I felt as if someone punched me in the gut. Shock!<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Trauma<\/p>\n

Disappointment<\/p>\n

Dismay<\/p>\n

As the room was swirling with sinking thoughts, I tried to hold it together to hear the doctor\u2019s suggestions and plans.<\/p>\n

How could we have not known that she couldn\u2019t breathe? Shock! <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

How did we not know that she was injured there too? Shock!<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

When is this ever going to end? Shock!<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

The prayers began.\u00a0 <\/b><\/p>\n

Ultimately, the decision was hers to make.\u00a0 The doctors believed having the surgery would increase her chances of chasing her dream \u2013 to play college basketball.\u00a0 Her only stipulation was the surgery could not interfere with this year\u2019s basketball season! \u00a0She was exhausted with living this way.<\/p>\n

Bracing ourselves for another post-surgical patient in our home, we cleared our calendars, finished up projects, and generally tied up loose ends.\u00a0 In a household as busy as ours, preparations, lots of them, must be made when you need a parent at home at all times for seven days of recuperation.<\/p>\n

As S-day approached, slowly, like a leaking pipe, fear began to ooze from my thoughts.\u00a0 There are very few friends with whom I choose to share this vulnerability.\u00a0 Despite my recent costume attire, I do not, even for one second, believe that I am Wonder Woman, impervious to fear and doubt.\u00a0 Being afraid for my children is a pastime that I would love to retire.\u00a0 Fear started to creep in, choking me, and I reached out looking for a lifeline.<\/p>\n

God answered my prayers by calming my fears, and throughout the day, his reminders just kept billowing in.<\/p>\n

Early in the morning:<\/i><\/p>\n

Text from me:<\/p>\n

Fear is consuming me.\u00a0 I just wish you lived closer.<\/p>\n

Text from my friend:<\/p>\n

What time is surgery? We\u2019ve been praying.<\/p>\n

10:00 AM<\/p>\n

I will be there.<\/p>\n

What? This cannot be! I wish I could put into words the gift that my friend gave.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just say, her willingness to come from miles away, leave her children at home, and spend a day worried about me, more than my girl, was a priceless treasure. Awe!<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Lunch at school: <\/i><\/p>\n

Out of the blue, a fellow teacher and wonderful Christian woman shared a story with me about how God holds those who are in the darkest moments tightly to him.\u00a0 Tears streamed down my face in the cafeteria as I heard words, literally breathed from God.\u00a0 Awe!<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Early afternoon: <\/i><\/p>\n

An e-mail from the church secretary (and dear friend) alerted me that our pastor (and also dear friend) needed the time of the surgery.\u00a0 He, too, would be coming to spend the time (which ended up being a day) with us at the surgical center. His steadfast friendship since the day of the bus crash has amazed us. \u00a0Awe!<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Later in the evening: <\/i><\/p>\n

After I shared on Facebook my prayer request for the surgery, e-mails, messages, and posts came pouring in.\u00a0 These were not your average messages either.\u00a0 They were heartfelt promises of prayer, practical suggestions from those who had also similar procedures done, and offers to help in any way we needed it.\u00a0 Humbly awed!<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Overnight:<\/em><\/p>\n

Clothed in those prayers, I slept peacefully \u2013 which I don\u2019t normally do. Awe!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Walking into the surgical center: <\/i><\/p>\n

In a way only God could orchestrate, he placed two mommas (along with my pastor and friend) at the same surgical center, the same day, with the same doctor.\u00a0 A little girl who my big girl mentors was having surgery immediately before her. Honestly, what are the odds? \u00a0During her dark moments of waiting, she buoyed me by giving me the biggest hug of encouragement. Just another reminder my teacher friend was right!<\/p>\n

God does hold tightly those he loves \u2013 especially when they need it the most.<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

Like a small child on Christmas morning, I will never lose a sense of wonder of how he provides everything that I need, even when my light is dimmed by fear, doubt and worry.<\/p>\n

So thankful that my God is bigger than all of life\u2019s shocks<\/b> and fills my soul with awe<\/b>!<\/p>\n

Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:5 (NIV)<\/p>\n

\"Post-surgery:<\/a>

Post-surgery: Okay, so this is not my actual child. But this bear, her parting gift, gives you a good idea of what she looked like.\u00a0 They had matching gauze guards and Band-Aids.\u00a0 I will admit, biasedly, that my daughter is much cuter!<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few days ago, I sat waiting once again for one of my children to undergo another surgery that was a direct result of injuries sustained in the bus crash that often feels like the albatross around my neck.\u00a0 We have been doctoring for four of those years while she has dealt with debilitating migraines, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[778,779,185,198,780,781,300,312,514,782,601,631],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1121"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1121"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1121\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}