{"id":2038,"date":"2016-02-17T15:38:50","date_gmt":"2016-02-17T15:38:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kandynolesstevens.com\/?p=2038"},"modified":"2016-02-17T15:38:50","modified_gmt":"2016-02-17T15:38:50","slug":"grief-came-to-visit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/?p=2038","title":{"rendered":"Grief came to visit"},"content":{"rendered":"

GRIEF came to visit a few days ago and to make matters worse he brought EXHAUSTION, the kind of fatigue that causes the world to swirl as I sink further away. I STRUGGLE to hold my head up, to keep my teary eyes open. Deep in the back of mind, I am reminded all those who say I am a STRONG. Do they not know how some days I can barely BREATHE? The maniacal laughter of DOUBT rises from my soul as I remember a recent splurge of DISTRACTION. Drawn by the allure of my roots, I played one of those silly online quizzes to uncover my Celtic name.<\/p>\n

\"boudicca\"<\/p>\n

I am certain Boudicca would be DISAPPOINTED. I feel nothing like a Celtic warrior. The lingering thoughts of FAILURE of all those I have let down wiggle to the surface. I want to rise up and fight the INVASION, but I have absolute zero ENERGY left to do so. I WORRY about the ways I am not enough for my husband, my kids.<\/p>\n

Then somewhere from deep inside me my own words come back to HAUNT me.<\/p>\n

Be gentle and kind to yourself. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I may not be a warrior, but in the moment, those appear to be wise words. I CHOOSE to EMBRACE them. I don\u2019t plan away the seconds, and I am PRESENT in the moments of our ordinary day \u2013 a day scarred by GRIEF and EXHAUSTION. I CHOOSE not to listen to the enemy\u2019s LIES.<\/p>\n

Eventually, I do the only thing that makes any sense. I CRY out to God. I lift an OFFERING of EMPTINESS. Empty hands and lifted face pour out a heart that hurts. And as much as a warrior I am NOT, he is – a LEGION of comforters at the ready.<\/p>\n

HOPE arrives.<\/p>\n

My daily bread<\/em>.<\/p>\n

My nothing is transformed into his SOMETHING.<\/p>\n

It is the SMALL that I find the IMMENSE<\/em>. God is present in it all.<\/p>\n

A phone call from a friend who just \u201cknew\u201d I needed encouragement – RE-ENERGIZES and REFRESHES. A card from a coworker ACKNOWLEDGES the pain and reminds me that many are PRAYING. A Facebook message WHISPERS \u2013 God loves you!<\/p>\n

I LIFT empty hands and DISCOVER God\u2019s hands are not empty because I am CRADLED there, rocked gently by his LOVE. Even though GRIEF came to visit, God PROVIDED the comfort to ask the houseguest to leave.<\/p>\n

And for me that is MORE than ENOUGH.<\/p>\n

\"DSC_0762\"<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

GRIEF came to visit a few days ago and to make matters worse he brought EXHAUSTION, the kind of fatigue that causes the world to swirl as I sink further away. I STRUGGLE to hold my head up, to keep my teary eyes open. Deep in the back of mind, I am reminded all those […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[1352,1353,114,274,312,380],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2038"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2038"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2038\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2038"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2038"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2038"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}