{"id":377,"date":"2012-09-08T03:37:29","date_gmt":"2012-09-08T03:37:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kandynolesstevens.com\/?p=377"},"modified":"2012-09-08T03:37:29","modified_gmt":"2012-09-08T03:37:29","slug":"22-days-to-go-were-in-the-club-now-what","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/?p=377","title":{"rendered":"22 Days to go: We’re in the Club. Now what? Make New Memories."},"content":{"rendered":"

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One of the things you often hear in groups of bereaved parents is \u201cWe joined the club that no one wanted to belong to.\u201d\u00a0 That is the UNDERSTATEMENT of a lifetime.\u00a0 If it were pledge week, this group would be the one that absolutely no one would attend the social.\u00a0 But now that I am lifelong card-carrying member, I have discovered that many other “members” share my wishes and desires.<\/p>\n

Recently one of those wishes has been to hear Reed\u2019s voice.\u00a0 I feel like I am forgetting what he sounded like.\u00a0 So one night I dug out his old MP3 player and listened to all the crazy antics that he and his siblings recorded. Through my tears, I got to hear his unmistakable voice. \u00a0Another of those desires is to make new memories with that child.<\/p>\n

In recent weeks, one of my grief journey friends shared her discovery.\u00a0 It was an artwork collection that a teacher found and hand-delivered to their home.\u00a0 She was practically giddy when she shared with me.\u00a0 My eyes welled with tears because my friend received the greatest gift \u2013 a new memory.<\/p>\n

Sometimes the \u201cvoice\u201d is revealed at what I believe is the exact time God knows that our hearts are ready to receive it.\u00a0 \u00a0One of those moments for me came at Reed\u2019s Celebration of Life service.\u00a0 At some point, Pastor Don shared a poem written by Reed that he was given just moments before.\u00a0 I sat there on the gym floor stunned because I had never heard those words.\u00a0 That new memory of sweet words quickly became a soothing balm for my soul.<\/p>\n

This summer I was able to be God\u2019s instrument in finding hidden words of a sweet young man and family friend, AJ Maag.\u00a0 Following AJ\u2019s death, there were so many questions.\u00a0 Were we all going to be okay?\u00a0 Days later, a few of us had the honor of packing up AJ\u2019s apartment.\u00a0 As I was standing in AJ\u2019s room, there on his bedroom wall right where he would first look when he woke up was a life list.\u00a0 I stood in that bedroom and bawled. His \u201ccreed\u201d was the answer to my question.\u00a0 AJ\u2019s words, penned on cardboard, were like God\u2019s way of telling me we were all going to be okay.\u00a0 I had the joy of sharing his precious words \u2013 a new memory for his parents \u2013 at his memorial service.\u00a0 They were words to make us all proud and words to remember.<\/p>\n

Until spoken about at his services, very few knew that this quiet, personable young man was the one who built the four benches around the Lakeview pond.\u00a0 One bench was made in memory of Jesse, Hunter, Emilee, and Reed.\u00a0 That\u2019s just how AJ was, generous and unassuming.\u00a0 The one thing I never understood was he didn\u2019t want any recognition for the benches, because in his words, \u201cIt\u2019s not about me\u201d.<\/p>\n

But for two moms, making new memories is just one of those things we really want to do.\u00a0 We want to remember AJ\u2019s gift and memorialize those he remembered as well as himself.\u00a0 We have copies of AJ\u2019s creed which will be available for a free will donation at Reed\u2019s Run. The proceeds of which will go to make bronze markers for each of those four benches that will have each child\u2019s name right alongside the name of the builder.<\/p>\n

This time it is a new shared memory.\u00a0 Somehow it just seems fitting.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of the things you often hear in groups of bereaved parents is \u201cWe joined the club that no one wanted to belong to.\u201d\u00a0 That is the UNDERSTATEMENT of a lifetime.\u00a0 If it were pledge week, this group would be the one that absolutely no one would attend the social.\u00a0 But now that I am […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[23,58,170,274,342,526],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/377"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=377"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/377\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=377"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=377"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=377"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}