{"id":955,"date":"2013-06-20T14:33:52","date_gmt":"2013-06-20T14:33:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kandynolesstevens.com\/?p=955"},"modified":"2013-06-20T14:33:52","modified_gmt":"2013-06-20T14:33:52","slug":"tears-of-joy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/?p=955","title":{"rendered":"Tears of Joy"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"photo<\/a>

photo found at buzzle.com<\/p><\/div>\n

Two months ago, I had the opportunity to speak at a church not far from my hometown.\u00a0 I spoke on the topic of forgiveness \u2013 which is a draining conversation we all need to hear. So moved by the experience, it has taken me this long to be able to put into words the transformation that took place in my life that day.<\/p>\n

I did write about my experience with God in the Wal-mart bathroom that afternoon (http:\/\/kandynolesstevens.com\/2013\/04\/17\/just-when-i-thought-i-was-safe\/<\/a>) but something much larger occurred that I have kept hidden in my heart until now.\u00a0 Something I didn\u2019t know would ever be possible again.<\/p>\n

I will confess that I did not ask one important question prior to the talk.\u00a0 I had spoken at several MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) groups previously, and each had the same format.\u00a0 I spoke for about forty-five minutes, after which the mommas broke into small groups for discussion and prayer.\u00a0 (The old adage about assuming applied here because this group expected me to talk for about an hour and half.)<\/p>\n

I shared my talk on forgiveness, and it is an exhausting story.\u00a0 Being an innate hugger, I often want to stop and hug the women in the audience when they are crying at my retelling of events.\u00a0 They are crying with me and for me because my life story has touched something deep in their soul.<\/p>\n

I know my story is powerful\u00a0 . . . even I am moved to tears at times when I speak because it is a challenge to look out and see no dry eyes.\u00a0 It is at those moments I realize that, \u201cWow God!\u00a0 I really did live this, and with your help we survived.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

When I realized that they desired for me to keep talking, I politely asked if I could share where my family was today and about how God was using our story.\u00a0 I shared about my children\u2019s progress emotionally and physically. Then, I revealed snippets of my upcoming book, Notes from a Grieving Momma<\/span><\/i><\/b>.<\/p>\n

At the end, I opened the floor to questions.\u00a0 After hearing my story of forgiveness, I knew there would be many (why at the other MOPS events, I linger to answer, to hug, and to offer encouragement). \u00a0It is difficult to describe that you could feel like you were catching-up with old friends whom you haven\u2019t seen in a while when I was talking to strangers, but in God\u2019s family the bonds grow strongly and quickly.\u00a0 We have a common Father, and we can sometimes skip over the small talk.<\/p>\n

Then came the question that caused my knees to buckle.\u00a0 \u201cYou will let us know when we can pick up a copy of that book, right?<\/i>\u201d Followed by, \u201cPlease make sure that we can get a copy easily \u2013 this is a small town after all.<\/i>\u201d When I looked around the room every face was now smiling and nodding.<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t believe my eyes.<\/p>\n

As if on cue, immediately following my talk, my cell phone rang.\u00a0 The caller was the other person who could give these talks if he at all cared to speak in front of others \u2013 he does not \u2013 but his perspective would be equally life changing.\u00a0 My sweet husband waited patiently, timing when to call and ask, \u201cSo how did it go<\/i>?\u201d<\/p>\n

I told him about the wonderful food, the engaged audience of mommas, meeting their adorable babes, the gift of love they gave me . . .<\/p>\n

and then, \u00a0I burst into tears.<\/p>\n

I could hear in his voice concern.\u00a0 He knows the story having walked alongside me each step of the way.\u00a0 Was I crying because it was such a hard topic? Was I crying because I once again went back and relived it? What brought on the torrential downpour of salinated drops?<\/p>\n

It took me a few moments before I could put it into one word. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Joy!<\/p>\n

Joy? <\/i>I could tell from his voice that he had bigger concerns like had I lost my mind.<\/p>\n

You know when God tells us that he wants \u2013 NO! \u00a0he YEARNS \u2013 to give us the desires of our hearts, He MEANS IT.\u00a0 That day I knew what that felt like.\u00a0 Every synapse in my brain, every cell in my body, and every stirring of my soul was alive with God\u2019s message for my life.<\/p>\n

He allowed my faux pas to be used in a way that spoke loudly and clearly to my heart.\u00a0 I knew from early on that God does not give void to those whom he loves, and I knew that some way somehow God was going to use the pain of our lives\u2019 stories to help others.\u00a0 \u00a0How else would any of this make sense?<\/p>\n

I knew never that it would come in the form of my desire to be a blessing to others.\u00a0 I never knew how deeply I needed the affirmations of strangers (now sisters) to tell me that God wants my (well, our) book and ministry to touch the lives of others.<\/p>\n

I sat in my van, sobbing, confessing to my husband that flood gates to my heart had been opened \u2013 because even I didn\u2019t know if I would ever truly be able to cry tears of joy again.<\/p>\n

It was an amazing feeling!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Two months ago, I had the opportunity to speak at a church not far from my hometown.\u00a0 I spoke on the topic of forgiveness \u2013 which is a draining conversation we all need to hear. So moved by the experience, it has taken me this long to be able to put into words the transformation […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[68,154,228,251,312,362,422,429,613],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/955"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=955"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/955\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=955"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=955"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.realsweetgrace.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=955"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}