9 days to go: Hasta La Vista

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Reed’s Birthday Trip to Itasca State Park

Sawyer has always had an amazing auditory memory.  He can remember entire scenes in movies verbatim after only watching them one time. When Sawyer was about 2 years old, he shared his prowess for movie dialogue during the fellowship time between church and Sunday school.  While we were all visiting in the Fellowship Hall, Sawyer and his curly-headed, little self, decided he was gonna blow this pop stand.  Instead of just doing that, he had to declare, so that all in attendance that fine Sunday morning, could hear, “Hasta La Vista, Babyyyyyy”, and then he spun around and sped off like Speedy Gonzalez.

Then it began – the penetrating stares from the Evangelicals.  You know the stares, which wonder what type of parents would allow a 2-year-old to watch the Terminator movies.  I wanted to slink under the table almost as much as the time a few months earlier that Reed asked if everybody was drinking beer at the fellowship time.   What kind of parents were these people?  What really goes on in that household? Beer and R-rated movies!

Oh wait! They didn’t understand. It wasn’t the Terminator movies (to which I must confess having never seen). Sawyer was just a devout follower of the Rescue Heroes.

We were the first on our block to have Rescue Heroes.  We had the toys, the dress-up clothes, and the movies.  Reed and Sawyer played Rescue Heroes for hours on end.  We had every hero, vehicle, and their headquarters.  As an action figure girl myself, I loved that the heroes could stood up on their ginormous feet.

Once in the cartoon, a naughty guy (because nobody was ever really bad on the RH – naughty, hasty, naïve, but never bad) didn’t listen to the warnings that the ski hill was too dangerous. The heroes tried to warn him, but nope, he just pushed right on off that ski lift and yelled, “Hasta La Vista, Baby” and skied himself right on into an avalanche.  Of course that required the heroes to do what they do – rescue!  And THAT ladies and gentlemen (and judging stare givers) is where Sawyer picked up the phrase at 2-years-old.

Our love for the Rescue Heroes never really went away.  It has carried over into our respect for the real-life everyday heroes who do the jobs that were represented in the cartoons of boyhood yesteryear.  Those same people were the ones that spent Reed’s final moments with him.  The few details we do know are that despite everything that was going on around them.  Reed was loved on by those who attended to him.  We know that he was hugged and we know that he was prayed over.  For both kindnesses, we are eternally grateful.

Just like last year, we invited all 27 responding units to the Lakeview Bus Crash to be our special guests at Reed’s Run.  Their presence last year was healing to much more than our family.  Knowing that in the some of the darkest moments of life, our neighbors, many of whom are volunteers, walk into the storm because that is what they are called to do should make each and every one of us humbly proud.

Although most responders would say, “I am just doing my job”.  I would respectfully rebuff that notion and state that the way they conduct their jobs have influenced many people.  I know because my family has never taken for granted a speeding ambulance or patrol car or a whirring helicopter since that awful day.  If you can replace complacency, in busy, harried lives, with reflective prayers of safety and guidance, then I would say you are probably someone to be admired.

I think there are many that would agree with me!

10 days to go: Art 4 All

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Reed’s “Self-Portrait” Canvas
“Commissioned” for his Art Show

When Reed was around 5 years old, I was still teaching tennis.  One year, I helped with the local Marshall Community Services Spring Classes and Tournament with the local college coach.  For our kick-off, we had a representative come from the United States Tennis Association for a Free 4 All event.  The event is a part of the USTA’s mission to make tennis available to everyone by helping with equipment, instruction, and ENTHUSIASM.

Reed felt the same way about art.  He felt that everyone regardless of age should have an opportunity to create and to express their world through art mediums.  For years, we would faithfully drive our kids to Sioux Falls once a month so that they could participate in the arts programs at the Washington Pavilion.  They loved it.  On one of our trips back, Reed wondered what it would be like if every kid could experience art lessons and have a place to display their art.

I started asking at local art and children’s organizations, and while most liked the idea, none really put forth much of an effort toward what Reed envisioned.  He finally decided to take matters into his own sweet hands.  With the support of Mom, Dad, and his beloved art teacher, Mrs. Schueler, Reed applied for and was awarded a grant to hosting an art show with art lessons too!  He was the ripe age of 8 years old.  The day was a success with the entire event free to all who attended.  Reed wanted art to be a past-time available to everyone.

Keeping that sweet memory in mind, we have added a new component to our Reed-A-Cheetah Kids Zone this year.  Yes, there will be several art projects available for kids to create.  We know with certainty that Reed would give two thumbs up at an ART-4-ALL event!

No matter how big or small, God’s creations are always masterpieces!  Just like we have any of our children’s artwork on the walls, God has our pictures all over his “refrigerator”!

Special Note: The art projects are a part of the $5 wristband price.  St. Mary’s Youth Group of Cottonwood will be manning the stations.  They are also doing a small fundraiser.  They will have “I (heart) Jesus” bracelets available for purchase.  The funds will be used to help pay for their upcoming NCYC youth trip.

11 Days to Go: We are Family

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I always get a kick out of calling my sister-in-law’s cell phone.  While waiting to talk to her, you get a rousing rendition of “We are Family” sung by Sister Sledge.  It always makes me giggle.  My definition of family isn’t confined to simple biological connections.  I think that God gave me a family of birth AND a much bigger family by His plans.  For both I am thankful.

But what I really want to talk about is one of the “families” that Reed belonged to and now, Sawyer does as well.  That family is the Lakeview Football Family.  This brotherhood is one that shapes a young man’s life, and often teaches them about more than a game with a pigskin ball.  When you get really good coaches as they all have experienced, you learn that football is a small part of your overall purpose in life.

All the Lakeview Lakers have learned about the 3 F’s: Faith, Family & Football.  For the current roster of players, they have known more than their fair share of adversity through the loss of teammates, friends, brothers, and fathers as well as supporting a coach’s family as they go through a battle with a bigger opponent than the other team. The injuries that are often synonymous with the game of football seem small in comparison to the burdens their broad shoulders have had to bear at such a young age.

While winning is fun, it certainly isn’t everything, and I would be hard pressed to find a more caring and giving group of young men.  Their character shows on and off the field.  When a friend or foe is hurt in the game, many take a knee and they pray.  When someone is hurting they show up or at least call, even if that means one is in one hospital and the other is another hospital miles away. Some even travelled over 430 miles to say a final goodbye to Reed. The bonds are deeper than 4 quarters on a grassy field.

In school they are leaders and they make a difference.  Some of them have quite a following among the elementary kids, who admire them not just because football players are cool.  But more so, it is because they are genuinely nice kids who aren’t too cool to “hang out” with kids half their age and a quarter their size.

At Reed’s Run, they are going to be present one last time honor their friend, classmate, teammate and brother.  They will be out there helping with the inflatables and selling concessions during the movie.   Their presence means more to my family than they will ever know.  The bond of brothers is one not easily broken.  Even though I am not a member of this team, I have more than once benefitted from their kindness, usually a hug when I needed it the most.  So I don’t care what any scoreboard ever says, their place in my heart will never change. I will always be a Laker fan.

12 Days to Go: But I can’t

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“Junk Art” Motorcycle
Available at Reed’s Run

Each year, I have a few people that pull me aside, and tell me that they want to run a 5k but that they just don’t think they can.  I totally get that.  If you followed along on my journey to finishing my first triathlon, then you would also know that my biggest hurdle to overcome was my personal fear of failure.  In the end, not only did I finish, but I beat my own personal best time.  Granted I was not gifted with any stellar athletic genes, but I did show up.  But before I started “showing up”, I used all kinds of excuses: getting older, out of shape, severe asthma, I hate running and the list goes on.

Thankfully the story of our “auction guy” does not parallel my own.  The first year of fundraising was Reed’s art show and the auction items were supposed to raise money for his trip to Australia.  The second year (1st Reed’s Run) the auction items were put together by the Reed’s Run team members.  But three was definitely a charm.  The third auction year was when a friend from church, who had been such a positive encourager for Sawyer during his rehabilitation, called and asked if he could help out with the auction.

My first response was “We aren’t in the business of turning down good help.” But in the back of my mind, I thought how much can one guy do.  My friend has had some struggles in his life – a severe learning disability, the death of his sister, and a few other things that would definitely knock some down. Not my friend.  Remember my list of excuses that kept me from keeping a promise I made to Reed & Sawyer about completing a triathlon.  It seems my friend never has time to pencil in the reasons why he cannot do something.

He just got down to business, and the auction items started rolling in.  And rolling in.  And rolling in.  He is amazing.  My gifts and talents do not include the ability to do what he does. I would be quaking in my boots going out soliciting donations and chatting with people I don’t know. At the first hint of no, I would be out the door.  Thankfully, that is not my friend’s method of operation; because without his diligent work, the auction would never be as successful as it is.

I have been thinking a lot about my friend’s commitment to our family and specifically to Reed’s Run.  I know that God has equipped each of us with talents to do His work, but sometimes, I am so afraid to fail that I don’t even start.  I am so glad that my friend doesn’t seem to possess that same gene. I am so blessed to know someone who seems all of life’s possibilities and not the potential problems.

So even if you don’t ever win a 5k, I believe there is a lot more “I CAN” in all of us, if we just show up and try.    I think my friend would definitely agree.  Hopefully, more of his attitude will rub off on me, so that the next time I come across a challenge, my answer will be “I KAN”!

 

13 days to go: the real hope!

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Logo Design by Palmer Tattoo
Marshall, MN

I have been amazed by the comments about my faith or my strength.  In reality, I don’t feel that strong or faith-filled much of the time. Often, I feel overwhelmed, doubtful, worrisome, and plain weak.  But I am always drawn back to the One person who has always been there.  Somehow when I have all of those real human emotions, I get a small something – maybe a song on the radio or a cardinal flying by my window.  I take those “signs” as if God is sending me a message straight from heaven telling you can go just a little farther.  The message almost always seems to be, “Don’t worry.  I know you are hurting, but remember I am right here, loving you forever.”

Every time I get one of those messages, I am also reminded that God knows exactly what it is like to lose a son.  That is very humbling.  He understands the depth of my grief. Every hurt that I have felt, God knows exactly how that feels.  If am angry and need to vent, God is okay with that too. Even the man after God’s own heart lashes out at God in the Psalms when he was hurting, and God still loved him anyway.

The mission of Reed’s Run has always been the 3 R’s: Remembering Reed, Reaching Others for Christ, and Raising funds for students.  The middle R has been a constant theme as we have prepared for the final run.  The truth is that Reed’s Run might be the biggest platform I ever have to do that.  I want to make it count.  I want to have Reed’s Run end with an exclamation point.  If I didn’t have so many grammarian friends, I would declare I wanted a multitude of exclamation points, but they might balk at that.   In all seriousness, I want to share that the faith that I profess has one source – Jesus Christ.

Growing up my grandparents had a fish camp in Ponce De Leon, Florida.  I often romanticized what it was like during the time of the great explorers. Unlike the conquistador who likely never found the fountain of youth, I have found the life giving LIVING well of water, the fount of hope that never runs dry.  For that I am humbled and amazed.  My awe led to the creation of the official logo for the final run.  I was simply the idea person, and God gave the perfect idea on who to contact.

A very special THANK YOU to Tim at Palmer’s Tattoos for listening to my ramblings and “seeing” my vision.  The logo created exceeded my expectations.  You perfectly put into art the very way my heart feels.

14 days to go: If you need a laugh

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I’ve always said that Reed came into the world looking like a little old man.  He continued carrying an old soul inside a youthful body his whole life.  We have a picture of him in bib overalls and a denim fisherman’s hat when he was about 3 or 4 months old.  Other than his size, you would have thought he was ready for the retirement center.

Despite his little old guy appearance, it was a face that this momma loved.  He was always wise beyond his years and was comfortable conversing with anyone.  One of the sweetest compliments we received at his memorial service was from a grandpa of one of his friends that said, “Reed was over at our house, and we had an hour long conversation.  I couldn’t believe that a 12-year-old could keep up with an old guy like me, but he did.”  It made us smile.  Old soul – youthful body.

One thing about people who possess an old spirit is that they recognize when someone else is hurting.  The response to that hurt is as diverse as the 96 crayon box of Crayola’s.  For my little old man, his responses ranged from a tender hand holding to giant bear hugs.  Yet, his favorite method of comforting others was to make you laugh.  Often it was laugh until you cried tears of joy.

When you needed a laugh, he was always there with some kind of humor.  Different than his brother who does great stand-up, Reed’s humor often involved slapstick routines.  Think 3 Stooges and early Chevy Chase work.  When he first saw “Grandpa”, the Six Flags character that danced, imitation became a sincere form of flattery.  Reed didn’t mind when told him that he resembled that character, in fact, it only encouraged him to learn his “routine” even more.

I could be having the worse day ever, and Reed would clear a space on the floor.  The next thing I would hear is, “Hey Mom!”  When I looked up, the “dance” was on.  It was always an instant mood lifter.  As a people, we are good at laughing at ourselves.  It was no different for Reed.  When the “performance” ended, Reed would laugh as hard as the rest of us.  The dance never got old.  It became one of those beloved favorites like a much loved blanket or pair of shoes.  Snuggly comfort – that created that warm fuzzy feeling inside.

It amazes me that Reed’s Run has always been a instrument for reaching out with our faith and for fundraising.  However, I think that God meant it for a different purpose for our family.

Psalm 30:11 You have turned my sorrow into dancing. 

Laughing as he would have wanted us to do, we will never be as good a dancers as Reed, but we will definitely laugh while trying. So if you ever need a laugh, just picture Reed doing the old man dance. Trust me, laughter is certainly good for your soul!

15 days to go: the beat goes on

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Many different times I have said that I would give anything to have Reed back, but I wouldn’t give away any of the friendships that have been forged or solidified since his death.  Those type of friendships exist for my children as well.  Some of these friendships have their roots grounded in a commonality of loss.  Sometimes the bonds come from both having connections with Reed, and other times it comes from the shared pain of losing someone close to them.

My kids have bonds with their peers from Faith’s Lodge that will last lifetimes.  And the same goes for a friend of Erin’s.  They were friends before the loss of his grandmother (a dear friend of our family), but they became closer friends after that.  We all knew each other fairly well, but they spent quite a few times just hanging out after her passing.  I believe pain knows pain, and suffering knows suffering.  But healing and refuge also know how to find safe sanctuary.  A safe place to grieve is always a welcome respite.

A by-product of the times they hung out was the discovery that this same friend, Ethon, owns and operates a business with his dad.  During one of o ur visits, he thought it would be a good idea to “pep” things up a bit at Reed’s Run, and he was the man to do it. He was right. As with many of the great ideas at Reed’s Run, we are glad we listened to the kids’ input.   With E&B’s DJ productions, the atmosphere at last year’s Reed’s Run was better than it had ever been.  Again, a friend sees a need and steps up, which is exactly what he did.

Ethon kept the “beat” pumping and by doing so, he kept all of us at the fairgrounds upbeat.  I think it is pretty amazing that through loss, the rhythm of friendship may change patterns, from quiet chimes to a crescendo of tympani, but always it is there keeping a steady beat of love.

We are happy to announce that the beat will continue to go on at this year’s Reed’s Run!

 

 

Sweet 16 (days to go)

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Along the way on our grief journey, our friends have been invaluable in our healing.  They have literally been our cheering section.  The amazing thing is these friends have always been there for us, even when we didn’t know or fess up to how much we needed them.  Yesterday, I mentioned classmates who will be graduating and how part of our decision making centered on them.   We continue to watch from the wings as they learn to spread theirs.

Reed had a diverse group of friends, both in personality and age.  We are excited to see how they will shine in this world. We already see glimpses of their glow in many different ways.  Not the least among those ways is how they consistently love on us, especially in the darkest days.  It seems they have picked up Reed’s encouragement “contagion”.  They share amazing stories and special moments.  They are always there with a hug, a card, an e-mail, or an unexpected visit. These friends share a history not only with Reed as well as being shareholders in keeping Reed’s legacy.  And they have done well.

It was purposeful when we asked these kids (many of whom tower over me now) to be on the Reed’s Run committee.  They bring a vibrant youthful perspective to every decision we make.  This group of friends also has a heart for God.  Even though their expression of faith may all differ, the way they let their lights shine is no less intentional.  And for that we are PROUD, and we know that Reed would be too.

So to: Quinn, Kayla, Jacob, Damien, Nattie, Mallory, Chelsey, Spencer, Cody, Ciara, Jacob, Garett, Taylor, Brent, Lucas, & Garrett

For being a huge part of Reed’s Run and for being an even bigger part of our lives, we thank you for being the Sweet 16.   Thank you for sharing your lives with us and helping us to continue to make our home a place where fun still lives (even if we put holes in walls and have out-of-control ping pong games in the garage).  For keeping inside jokes (like climbing the curtains) or for offering a hand to hold, together we have woven a web of shared love.  Any of you could fill the missing 6th chair at our table, and it would feel just like home!

 

 

17 Days to Go: The Reason Why

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Dear Reed:

It just occurred to me that you would be 17 years old this year, and today is the 17day countdown to the final big day of your run. Isn’t it funny how God works on his timing of ideas?  You gave us a lifetime of memories, and we have chosen several small memories to remember each year at the run.

Our whole focus has been to remember you and what a shining light you were in this world. As time has gone on, our hearts don’t hurt as bad, but that doesn’t mean we miss you less.  I think the reason why is that with each passing day our heart focus for Reed’s Run has been more and more about the God you loved.  And as much as we love you, we realize that this is small beans in comparison to how much God LOVED you and all of us.  That LOVE has helped our hearts to begin to heal.

I think we’ve been asked about a hundred times, why this is the last Reed’s Run.  The reasons are twofold, but we wanted you to know that by not doing the run doesn’t mean we love you or think about you any less.  You would be very proud of the people your friends have grown up to be.  They have blossomed and continued to be people that you would still call friends.  But as graduation approaches, Dad and I wanted them to go out and impact this world (carrying a little piece of you) with each of them.  I know that many of them (as they are half of our committee) would come back if we continued on, but that is not what I want them to do.  So even though we said it in a quiet voice, we meant it when we said, “The run will only last four years. The four years Reed would have been in high school.”

The second and main reason is one that I know you will understand.  I know because you were always a team player and an incredible big brother. Next year, both Sawyer and Erin will be in high school, and if their busyness now is any indication, we are going to be lucky to see them.  I don’t want to miss one minute of what they are doing because I am tied to Reed’s Run work.  I know that you would be right there cheering them on if you could be; so, I will cheer loud enough for the both of us.

I have never lied to you, even in some of life’s big questions like why did you have to have keratoconus.  I just told you that we had to believe that God has a plan.  Even though, I am fully confident that we are doing the right thing with letting the season of Reed’s Run come to an end, I am going to miss many things about the day.  I am probably not going to miss 18 hour days to accomplish all the little details, but I am going to miss the gathering of friends and family.  The hugs, the remembrance, and the honoring of those we admire are big parts of the day for me.

We will still be doing small things here and there to raise dollars for your fund, yet we aren’t sure what that is going to look like.  But whatever we decide to do, it will always involve something that you loved.  So while I am preparing to say good-bye to your run, I am looking forward to more time with the rest of Team Stevens.  And always, ALWAYS, I am looking forward to the day that I get to see you, our babies (my own little welcoming committee) and Jesus.  Where all of y’all can fill me in on what ripples in God’s pond your story had on the lives of others.  Then, I will I have all eternity to listen.

I love you always, Reed!

Mom

 

 

18 Days to Go: My help comes from the Lord

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My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth! (NLT) Psalm 121:2

It would come as no surprise to anyone who has ever put on a big event that Reed’s Run is a ton of work.  Most of the time, I flit about with the adrenaline of an alligator rustler accomplishing one task or another.  This year; however, I have been having bouts of anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed.  I really think that my main issue is that I have poured five years of my life into these four Reed’s Runs and now this is it.

Even though I seem to be accomplishing tasks a little slower than usual, my passion for keeping things rolling hasn’t waned.  This past week, however, God has lead me to verses that have really helped me to remember that all of his promises are true, and that He truly cares for us.  Just tonight as we were preparing for AWANA tomorrow, I was reminded of one of the verses that all my kids have learned.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your worries and cares to God, because He cares for you.  (NLT) 

Each and every day this week, God has reminded me that everything (including Reed’s Run) has a season, and that He has everything under control.  All the to-do lists, the order forms, the financial concerns, the weather, the meetings – EVERYTHING is under His control.  The success of Reed’s Run has less to do with us and more to do with God’s blessings on the event.  Even though Daniel & I and our kids are the keepers of Reed’s legacy, the story ultimately belongs to God – who knew and loved Reed before we even met him.

Today I needed to run an errand at a neighborhood church.  I know the Pastor, and we had a short visit about life and about the nature of the errand.  Being the sweet gentleman that he is, he inquired how Reed’s Run planning was going.  I don’t know what possessed me.  Maybe it is the fact that I was standing in a church talking to a man of God.  I stood there and was completely honest.  I shared with Him about my feelings of anxiety.  With tears, he walked over to his desk and shared what he had just been reading.  He simply picked up his Bible to where it was already open, and shared a verse in the Psalms on anxiety.

Yes, I cried as he moved from the Psalms to Habakkuk 3:17 –  18

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior. (NIV)

I cried even more. But in his gentle way this man reminded me that I had always praised the Lord in the storm so why should these planning days be any different. Even more revealing to my heart, than the sweet intervention on my emotions, was the fact that God had the whole meeting planned in the first place.

In honor of today’s blog, I am posting the official video of the song we have chosen for this year’s Reed’s Run official song. I guess I just needed a reminder of where my hope originates. Thank you, Lord, for giving me eyes to see your presence in all the ways you have helped me this week. My help and hope really did come from the Lord.  But thank you for reminding me in lots of ways that the detail that matters the most is Your Love for all of us!